I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: comedy life-and-living



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Be so good they can't ignore you.

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: life haters hater



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I am tired, so very tired of thinking about Lacey Yeager, yet I worry that unless I write her story down, and see it bound and tidy on my bookshelf, I will be unable to ever write about anything else.

Steve Martin


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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: humor empathy funny criticize



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If you saw her in these moments, you might think she was collecting her thoughts in order to go forward. But I see it another way: Her mind is being overwhelmed by two processes that must simultaneously proceed at full steam. One is to deal with and live in the present world. The other is to re-experience and mourn something that happened long ago. It is as though her lightness pulls her toward heaven, but the extra gravity around her keeps her earthbound.

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: life-and-living experiences



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She started converting objects of beauty into objects of value.

Steve Martin


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I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: humor inspirational writing



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The public has a short memory. That's why all these big stars do these crazy, terrible things and two years later they're back in the biz, you know. 'Cause the public has a short memory. Let me give you a little test, okay? This is my thesis -- the public has a short memory and, like-- How many people remember, a couple of years ago, when the Earth blew up? How many people? See? So few people remember. And you would think that something like that, people would remember. But NOOO! You don't remember that? The Earth blew up and was completely destroyed? And we escaped to this planet on the giant Space Ark? Where have you people been? And the government decided not to tell the stupider people 'cause they thought that it might affect-- [dawning realization, looks around] Ohhhh! Okay! Uh, let's move on!

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: stand-up



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Being on Twitter is like having a fern.

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: humor



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I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

Steve Martin


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