Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.
Steven WrightWhen I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Steven WrightI saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
Steven WrightI planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
Steven WrightCuriosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven WrightWhat do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven WrightHow can there be self-help groups?
Steven WrightI went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Steven WrightI can levitate birds. No one cares.
Steven WrightI can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.
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