Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice.

"There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. "We dinna know anythin'!"

"We have here a list of criminal and civil charges totaling nineteen thousand, seven hundred and sixty-three separate offenses-"

"We wasna there!" yelled Rob Anybody desperately. "Isn't that right, lads?"

"-including more than two thousand cases of Making an Affray, Causing a Public Nuisance, Being Found Drunk, Being Found Very Drunk, Using Offensive Language (taking into account ninety-seven cases of Using Language That Was Probably Offensive If Anyone Else Could Understand It), Committing a Breach of the Peace, Malicious Lingering-"

"It's mistaken identity!" shouted Rob Anybody. "It's no' oour fault! We wuz only standing there an' someone else did it and ran awa'!"

"-Grand Theft, Petty Theft, Burglary, Housebreaking, Loitering with Intent to Commit a Felony-"

"We wuz misunderstood when we was wee bairns!" yelled Rob Anybody. "Ye're only picking on us 'cause we're blue! We always get blamed for everythin'! The polis hate us! We wasna even in the country!

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humorous lawyers



Weiter zum Zitat


Hello, little girl," he said, which was only his first big mistake. "I'm sure you want to know all about hedgehogs, eh?"

"I did this one last year," said Tiffany.

The man looked closer, and his grin faded. "Oh, yes," he said. "I remember. You asked all those... little questions."

"I would like a question answered today," said Tiffany.

"Provided it's not one about how you get baby hedgehogs," said the man.

"No," said Tiffany patiently. "It's about zoology."

"Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it."

"No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite small.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humorous



Weiter zum Zitat


Strength enough to build a home,
Time enough to hold a child,
Love enough to break a heart

Terry Pratchett


Weiter zum Zitat


And people think she killed him?" said Miss Tick. She sighed. "They probably think she cooked him in the oven, or something."

"They never actually said," said Tiffany. "But I think it was something like that, yes."

"And did his horse turn up?" said Miss Tick.

"No," said Tiffany. "And that was strange, because if it'd turned up anywhere along the hills, people would have noticed it..."

Miss Tick folded her hands, sniffed, and smiled a smile with no humor in it.

"Easily explained," she said. "Mrs. Snapperly must have had a really big oven, eh?"

"No, it was really quite small," said Tiffany. "Only ten inches deep.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humor witches



Weiter zum Zitat


Anyway, lots of warrior tribes think that when they die, they go to a heavenly land somewhere," said the toad. "You know, where they can drink and fight and feast forever? So maybe this is theirs."

"But this is a real place!"

"So? That's what they believe. Besides, they're only small. Maybe the universe is a bit crowded and they have to put heavens anywhere there's room? I'm a toad, so you'll appreciate that I'm having to guess a lot here.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humor death



Weiter zum Zitat


Even in a dream, even at a posh ball, the Nac Mac Feegle knew how to behave. You charged in madly, and you screamed... politely.

"Lovely weather for the time o' year, is it not, ye wee scunner!"

"Hey, jimmy, ha' ye no got a
pommes frites for an ol'pal?"

"The band is playin' divinely, I dinna think!"

"Make my caviar deep-fried, wilya?

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humor



Weiter zum Zitat


You think so? Then take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder, and sieve it through the finest sieve, and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet, you try to act as if there is some ideal order in the world. As if there is some, some rightness in the universe, by which it may be judged.

Terry Pratchett


Weiter zum Zitat


You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.

Terry Pratchett


Weiter zum Zitat


Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: rules rulebreaking



Weiter zum Zitat


IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humor death safe sword hogfather



Weiter zum Zitat


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