I wish I could bottle the seductive look she gave me so I could sniff it when I jack off.
Tucker Max5:15 I have never put makeup on. It's hard. "You assholes are crowding my mirror space. Gimme some room, I keep smearing my blush." Everyone's glares at me. I feel like a gay homosexual.
Tucker MaxI take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
Tucker Max5:16 I shotgun two beers, piss out the bedroom window, catcall passing girls, burp violently, put cage fighting on tv, play with myself. I feel manly again.
Tucker MaxI could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
Tucker MaxI masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.
Tucker MaxOne of us needs to get laid."
"Just one of us?"
"What are the odds of both of us getting laid?
Look, I know everything is shitty right now, but if you don't stop acting like such a bitch, someones gonna fuck that pussy on your face.
Tucker MaxFUCK. This is not good. I'm allergic to whiskey. I think maybe I should explain this to her, and request a different alcohol. Then I remember that I am awesome. Even fighting through anaphylactic shock, I can STILL bury this emotionally unstable, bulimic undergrad.
Tucker MaxRandom Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"
Tucker: "I don't understand the question.
« erste vorherige
Seite 3 von 5.
nächste letzte »
Data privacy
Imprint
Contact
Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.