But I thought we might get naked, just like Adam and Eve, so natural...”
I gasped. I'd forgotten all about that part of my conversation with Scott! Utter humiliation. I curled into a tighter ball.
“Oh, come on. You haven't even thanked me yet.”
“For what?” I asked, still not looking.
“For saving you from snogging that plonker. You didn't really fancy him, did you?”
My cheeks burned, and I was glad to be turned away from him. I kept my mouth shut.
“So that's it, then?” he asked. I ignored him. “I always wondered what it would feel like.”
That made me curious enough to turn to him.
“What what would feel like?” I asked.
“Rejection.” He seemed in the midst of a revelation.
“What are you saying? That no girl has ever told you no?”
“Not one.”
Well, that explained a lot.
“And what about you?” I asked. "Haven't you ever stopped or said no to a girl?”
He laughed as if I'd said something ridiculous. "Why would I do that?”
“Lots of reasons,” I said. “Never mind, just go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.” I turned away from him again, punching the thick pillow and laying my head down.
“I suppose I did refuse one, but she doesn't count,” he said.
“Why not?”
“Because she was Neph.”
Discomfort gnawed at me.
“This must be the part where I take a cold shower?” he asked.
“Good idea.”
When he was in the bathroom with the water running, I jumped down and changed into my pajamas. Then I leaped back into bed and chanted to myself, Don't think about the kiss. Don't think about the kiss. Impossible.
Are the guardian angels always with them?” I asked, still watching it.
“Yup. They're with their humans when they visit the loo..even when they're having sex.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “You just had to go there.”
“You asked. And don't worry. They're way too pure and obedient to be voyeurs.
Kaidan had been captivated by the store owner's deep Texan accent. He asked a ridiculous number of questions just to keep the man talking. He then tried to repeat the man's accent when we got in the car. “Where are y'all young'uns headed? We got us some maps over yonder by them there h-apples.”
I laughed out loud as he butchered the man's beautiful drawl.
“He did not say 'over yonder'!”
“I've always wanted to say that. I love Americans. You've got a nice little accent, though not nearly as wicked as his.”
“I do?”
He nodded.
Aside from the occasional y'all, I didn't think I sounded Southern, but I guess it's hard to say about your own self.
Shoes. I needed to get on my tennis shoes. I scrambled through my things on the floor and found them, shoving my feet in and tying the knots. Of course Kaidan Rowe would know what freesia smelled like. He probably had to take a flower course during lust training.
“Going somewhere?”
In my peripheral vision I saw him standing in the bathroom door. I wouldn't meet his eyes, afraid they'd be as stormy as they were after our kiss.
I stood and looked at the clock. It was nine. “Yeah, I'm going for a run.”
“Mind if I join you?”
I huffed out a determined breath and looked at him now. “Only if you'll do something for me.”
He raised his eyebrows in response.
“Teach me to hide my colors.
I grew up back and forth between the British Isles: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales. I spent short periods of time in France, Italy, and South Africa. This is my first time in the States. I was disappointed by Atlanta at first — I'd wanted to live in New York-but it's grown on me.”
Everything about Kaidan was exciting and exotic. This was my first time traveling away from home, and he'd already seen so much. I ate my apple, glad it was crisp and not soft.
“Which was your favorite place?” I asked.
“I've never been terribly attached to any place. I guess it would have to be...here.”
I stopped midchew and examined his face. He wouldn't look at me. He was clenching his jaw, tense. Was he serious or was he teasing me? I swallowed my bite.
“The Texas panhandle?” I asked.
“No.” He seemed to choose each word with deliberate care. “I mean here in this car. With you.”
Covered in goose bumps, I looked away from him and stared straight ahead at the road, letting my hand with the apple fall to my lap.
He cleared his throat and tried to explain. “I've not talked like this with anyone, not since I started working, not even to the only four people in the world who I call friends. You have Patti, and even that boyfriend of yours. So this has been a relief of sort. Kind of...nice.” He cleared his throat again.
Oh, my gosh. Did we just have a moment? I proceeded with caution, hoping not to ruin it.
“It's been nice for me, too,” I said. “I've never told Jay anything. He has no idea. You're the only one I've talked to about it all, except Patti, but it's not the same. She learned the basics from the nun at the convent where I was born.”
“You were born in a convent,” he stated.
“Yes.”
“Naturally.
I went back in and grabbed my running clothes, then changed in the bathroom. I opened the door to the bathroom, stopping when I saw Kaidan's toiletry bag on the sink. I was overcome with curiosity about his cologne or aftershave, because I'd never smelled it on anyone else before. Feeling sneaky, I prodded one finger into the bag and peeked. No cologne bottle. Only a razor, shaving cream, toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. I picked up the deodorant, pulled off the lid, and smelled it. Nope, that wasn't it.
The sound of Kaidan's deep chuckle close to the doorway made me scream and drop the deodorant into the sink with a clatter. I smacked one hand to my chest and grabbed the edge of the sink with the other. He laughed out loud now.
“Okay, that must have looked really bad.” I spoke to his reflection in the mirror, then fumbled to pick up the deodorant. I put the lid on and dropped it in his bag. “But I was just trying to figure out what cologne you wear.”
My face was on fire as Kaidan stepped into the small bathroom and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. I stepped away. He seemed entertained by my predicament.
“I haven't been wearing any cologne.”
“Oh.” I cleared my throat. “Well, I didn't see any, so I thought it might be your deodorant, but that's not it either. Maybe it's your laundry detergent or something. Let's just forget about it.”
“What is it you smell, exactly?” His voice took on a husky quality, and it felt like he was taking up a lot of room. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Something strange was going on here. I stepped back, hitting the tub with my heel as I tried to put the scent into words.
“I don't know. It's like citrus and the forest or something...leaves and tree sap. I can't explain it.”
His eyes bored into mine while he wore that trademark sexy smirk, arms still crossed.
“Citrus?” he asked. “Like lemons?”
“Oranges mostly. And a little lime, too.”
He nodded and flicked his head to the side to get hair out of his eyes. Then his smile disappeared and his badge throbbed.
“What you smell are my pheromones, Anna.”
A small, nervous laugh burst from my throat.
“Oh, okay, then. Well...” I eyed the small space that was available to pass through the door. I made an awkward move toward it, but he shifted his body and I stepped back again.
“People can't usually smell pheromones,” he told me. “You must be using your extra senses without realizing it. I've heard of Neph losing control of their senses with certain emotions. Fear, surprise...lust.”
I rubbed my hands up and down my upper arms, wanting nothing more than to veer this conversation out of the danger zone.
“Yeah, I do have a hard time reining in the scent sometimes,” I babbled. “It even gets away from me while I sleep now and then. I wake up thinking Patti's making cinnamon rolls and it ends up being from someone else's apartment. Then I'm just stuck with cereal. Anyway...”
“Would you like to know your own scent?” he asked me.
My heart swelled up big in my chest and squeezed small again. This whole scent thing was way too sensual to be discussed in this small space. Any second now my traitorous body would be emitting some of those pheromones and there'd be red in my aura.
“Uh, not really,” I said, keeping my eyes averted. “I think I should probably go.”
He made no attempt to move out of the doorway.
“You smell like pears with freesia undertones.”
“Wow, okay.” I cleared my throat, still refusing eye contact. I had to get out of there. “I think I'll just...” I pointed to the door and began to shuffle past him, doing my best not to brush up against him. He finally took a step back and put his hands up by his sides to show that he wouldn't touch me. I broke out of the confined bathroom and took a deep breath.
I had a tattoo once,” said Kaidan. “Last year, just before we left England.”
“What do you mean, you had one 'once'?”
“Bloody thing was gone by the morning!” His voice was indignant. “Sheets were black with ink. I put myself through all of that for hours, and my body just pushed it back out!”
And once again we were both in a fit of hysterics, sharing the world's best inside joke. We were doubled over, unable to breathe, and I accidentally snorted. Kaidan pointed at me and laughed harder, clutching his stomach.
“What was your tattoo?” I managed to push the words out.
“You had to ask. It was a deadly-looking pair of black wings on my shoulder blades.”
Kaidan and I started roaring again, muscles clenching from the exertion.
We had no way of knowing it would be our last reason to laugh for a very long time.
Well, I'm over it. Let's just forget about it.”
He blinked at me, seeming surprised by my easy forgiveness. I gave him a small smile and took a sip of my juice. He leaned back in his chair and observed me.
“How's your orange juice, Ann? Does it have a touch of lime?”
The glass paused at my lips as I processed his innuendo, and I took a second to make sure my embarrassment stayed hidden inside. I let the drink swish over my tongue a moment before swallowing and answering.
“Actually it's a little sour,” I said, and he laughed.
“That's a shame.” He picked up a green pear from his plate and bit into it, licking juice that dripped down his thumb. My cheeks warmed as I set down my glass.
“Okay, now you're just being crude,” I said.
He grinned with lazy satisfaction.
“I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just enjoying my breakfast.” He took another bite and I shook my head. The boy had a major effect on me, but some of the shock factor was beginning to wear off, and I found myself being less offended by his incorrigible nature.
Tell me more,” I said. “Tell me anything. What's the meaning of life?”
He let out a big, burly laugh.
“You thought you'd stump me with that one, didn't you? It's actually very simple. The purpose of life is to find your way back to a spiritual way of thinking and living — to be able to get past the physical stuff. That's pretty much the whole test. And every soul is given talents and strengths to help them along the way.”
“That's it?”
He snickered at my bug-eyed response.
“It's much harder than it sounds.” He looked up at the clock now. “Ten more minutes, little one. What else you got for me?
New Mexico is my favorite state,” I declared as we pulled onto I-40.
“I'm waiting to see it all before I decide. And by the way, your driving isn't half bad. I expected to be terrified.”
“Why?”
“I imagined a timid, overly cautious little angel, but you've got an impressive lead foot.”
Whoops.
“Your car drives so quietly,” I said, "I don't realize how fast I'm going. I'll set the cruise control from now on.”
“Don't worry. I'll keep an ear out for cops,” he told me.
“Will we be passing the Grand Canyon?” I asked. “I've always wanted to see it.”
Kaidan pulled out the map and studied it.
“It's a bit out of the way, more than an hour. But how about this? We can go on the way back, since we won't have a time crunch.”
I didn't know if it was the desert air or what, but I felt at ease. I still had a thousand questions for Kaidan, but I wasn't in the mood for another heavy conversation just yet. I liked talking to him. We were still guarded, and it wasn't nearly as carefree as talking with Jay, but I was beginning to imagine keeping Kaidan in my life as a friend after this trip. Time would help us forget the kiss. My crush on him would fade. If I could stop analyzing every touch and every look, then maybe it could work. I vowed to myself at that moment: No more jealousy. No more flirting. No more lustful longing for the elusive Kaidan Rowe.
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