Over time as most people fail the survivor's exacting test of trustworthiness, she tends to withdraw from relationships. The isolation of the survivor thus persists even after she is free.

Judith Lewis Herman

Stichwörter: relationships trust isolation trauma survivor abuse traumatization traumatized



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I don't forgive him," I said.
"Hell, no, you don't. And why should you? So he can feel better? Get on with his life? And what's he done to help you get on with yours?

Kelley Armstrong

Stichwörter: life-lessons coping abuse



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Why isn't there a commandment to "honor thy children" or at least one to "not abuse thy children"? The notion that we must honor our parents causes many people to bury their real feelings and set aside their own needs in order to have a relationship with people they would otherwise not associate with. Parents, like anyone else, need to earn respect and honor, and honoring parents who are negative and abusive is not only impossible but extremely self-abusive. Perhaps, as with anything else, honoring our parents starts with honoring ourselves. For many adult children, honoring themselves means not having anything to do with one or both of their parents.

Beverly Engel

Stichwörter: child abuse parent



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The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse.

Judith Lewis Herman

Stichwörter: safety refuge violence victim protection promises survivor abuse perpetrator domestic-violence victimization abused-women battered-women batterers battering self-protection



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...Incest is rape by extortion. Thus the child's very childhood becomes a weapon used to control her.

E. Sue Blume

Stichwörter: abuse incest



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Suffering teaches joy.

Sonia Rumzi

Stichwörter: wisdom life happiness pain joy suffering abuse



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Killing animals to make a fashion statement = a sickening + cold-blooded vanity.

Jess C. Scott

Stichwörter: love animals murder stories vanity fashion cruelty lovers rights animal abuse cruelties fashion-statement



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I am a fan of overdoing something, but not running it into the ground. They are complete opposites with only a fine line separating them.

Criss Jami

Stichwörter: moderation addiction obsession overdoing repetition abuse excessive



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An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.

Criss Jami

Stichwörter: water health addiction drinking alcohol indulgence over-indulgence obsession alcoholic substance-abuse habits abuse intoxicate aqua aquaholic



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The woman recovering from abuse or other stressful life situations may feel she's in no way in charge of anything, least of all her own world. She faces the horse with trepidation. The horse senses the fear and becomes tense and concerned. The wise instructor starts small. The woman is handed a soft brush and sent to fuss over the horse. It's pointed out that if she stands close to the animal, she will be out of range of a well-aimed kick. She is warned to watch for tell-tale signs of fear in herself and the horse. She's warned to keep her feet out from under the horse's stomping hoof. They're both allowed to back away and regroup and try again until they reach an accord regarding personal space. Calm prevails, and within a few minutes, hours or sessions, interaction becomes friendship. It happens almost every time a woman is allowed enough time and space to work through the situation.

So a woman whose daily life is overwhelming her learns to step back. Is this a cure for her endless problems? Of course not. Simple is not simplistic.

Joanne M. Friedman

Stichwörter: friendship time calm interaction space horses stress senses abuse regrouping simplistic



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