When the officer approached the window, he said ‘Papers’ and before he could finish, I shouted, ‘Scissors! I win,’ and drove off.
Kyle AdamsStichwörter: hilarious
Forget I ever referred to my mother and screwing in the same sentence. That's just .... wrong. On so many levels.
Emma ChaseYou’d throw yourself in front of a bus for me.”
She would and he knew it.He knew it and she knew that he felt that knowledge burrow deep and he liked it.
Elle felt tears stinging the backs of her eyes, her body melted into his,her arms tightened around him and she whispered back, “Yes,Pren,though I hope I never get the chance.
Stichwörter: love hilarious decleration
Tex's head snapped in my direction.
Fuckin' A, woman, you've never had a s'more? he boomed
I shook my head.
Christ, everyone's gotta have a s'more before they die. Fuck that shit, I'll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I'll stop by Kumar's on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by-
Stichwörter: funny regret hilarious sadie hector tex rock-chick smores
Dante.Oh,Dante.Seal me!Seal me so hard!”.He grabs my hips and
pumps his toward mine.“Oh,Dante! You’re so hot when you seal souls.”
I shove my idiot-of-a-best-friend off me and laugh.“What the hell was that?” I ask.
“My new move.
Stichwörter: friends hilarious dante-walker
I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.
Dave MatthesStichwörter: humor comedy hair bastard hilarious booze ass erotica erotic-romance conditioner
Hadn’t retired reporter Stan warned him of how protective Cosimo was of his granddaughters? What if the Carusos had discovered his identity and wanted to rub him out as they’d rubbed out his father?
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and
at the hour of our death.
Stichwörter: death prayer hilarious
She was going to go to her room,munch on chocolate,then collapse into bed.
And if her upstairs neighbors decided to talk about who the daddy was or cry again about how much David was loved,she'd go up there and give them somthing to really bloody cry about.
Stichwörter: sex hilarious daddy hot depress
Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go.
George R.R. MartinStichwörter: truth humour funny hilarious humourous
Rocher was on the floor, crawling on her stomach toward Jate's feet. "I love you...," she kept repeating, in a demonic whisper. "I have to show you... my butt.
Paul RudnickStichwörter: tattoo hilarious jate rocher
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