I was like, 'Dude, make me look bad. Please. I want to look ugly. I want to wear orange pants.
EvanescenceStichwörter: hilarious
I can't see anything" he said in a muffled voice, hand over his eyes. "I'm blind.
L.J. SmithI sprung you because I've got a message for you"
"doesn't your family own a cell phone company?"
"only a little one
Its Vermeer"
Kat turned to the boy who lingered in the doorway. "It's stolen"
"What can I say?" Hale eased behind her and studied the painting over her shoulder. "I met a very nice man who bet me he had the best security system in Istanbul." His breath was warm on the back of her neck. "He was mistaken.
Stichwörter: hilarious thief hale
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Ah, mistress, you’re an angel. Sure there’s not a drop left? I might have remembered one more person….”
“Up yours,” I said rudely with another belch. “It’s empty. You should tell me the name anyway, after making me drink all that sewage.”
Winston gave me a devious smile. “Come back with a full bottle and I will.”
“Selfish spook,” I mumbled, and staggered away.
I’d made it a few feet when I felt that distinct pins-and-needles sensation again, only this time it wasn’t in my throat.
“Hey!”
I looked down in time to see Winston’s grinning, transparent form fly out of my pants. He was chuckling even as I smacked at myself and hopped up and down furiously.
“Drunken filthy pig!” I spat. “Bastard!”
“And a good eve’in’ to you, too, mistress!” he called out, his edges starting to blur and fade. “Come back soon!”
“I hope worms shit on your corpse!” was my reply. A ghost had just gotten to third base with me. Could I sink any lower?
Stichwörter: humor cat hilarious ghost
You! You tricked me! I never want to see you or that bottle of liquid arsenic again!”
I chucked the empty moonshine jug at him. Or tried to. It missed him by a dozen feet.
He picked it up in astonishment. “You drank the whole bloody thing? You were only supposed to have a few sips!”
“Did you say that? Did you?” He reached me just as I felt the ground tip. “Didn’t say anything. I’ve got those names, so that’s all that matters, but you men…you’re all alike. Alive, dead, undead—all perverts! I had a drunken pervert in my pants! Do you know how unsanitary that is?”
Bones held me upright. I would have protested, but I couldn’t remember how to. “What are you saying?”
“Winston poltergeisted my panties, that’s what!” I announced with a loud hiccup.
“Why, you scurvy, lecherous spook!” Bones yelled in the direction of the cemetery. “If my pipes still worked, I’d go right back there and piss on your grave!
Stichwörter: humor hilarious bones-and-cat
There is no way I’m going out in public like this!”
It seemed while I was being tormented at the salon, Bones had been out shopping. I didn’t ask where he got the money from, images of old folks with their necks bleeding and their wallets missing dancing in my head. There were boots, earrings, push-up bras, skirts, and something he swore to me were dresses but only looked like pieces of dresses.
Stichwörter: humor hilarious bones-and-cat
Cryptic Dad is cryptic,' I muttered ... We'd hung out all day today. Was there no time in there he could have said, 'Oh, hey, meet me at the magical bookcase at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow, cool?
Rachel HawkinsStichwörter: hilarious
Sei: The Kudzu snacks were so good I had two and a half bowls but seeing you eat 16 and a half bowls was disgusting. I sriously considered killing you.
Okita: You're horrible! Besides then I'd bleed Kudzu snacks!
Sei: NOO! STOP!!! I CAN SEE IT!! I'LL HAVE NIGHTMARES!!
Stichwörter: humor funny hilarious kaze-hikaru okita-souji taeko-watanabe tominiga-sei
The lengths to which you’re prepared to go to please a housekeeper make me wonder about the servant situation in Scotland. Good help must be thin on the ground.” Vale widened his eyes and took a drink.
“She’s more to me than a housekeeper,” Alistair growled.
“Wonderful!” Vale slapped him on the back. “And about time, too. I was beginning to worry that all your important bits might’ve atrophied and fallen off from disuse.”
He felt unaccustomed heat climb his throat. “Vale…
Stichwörter: hilarious munroe vale
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