Cole: " There's the old Nik. No 'how do you do', no talk of the weather. Just a good swift kick to the balls."
Nikki: "A kick to your balls is an option?
Stichwörter: humor cole-and-nikki
.."Find something that reminds you of Jack..."
"Like what?"
"The two of you were lovey-dovey. Didn't he ever give you.. I don't know... a heart shaped locket necklace?"
"No."
"A teddy? With a T-shirt that says I LOVE YOU BEARY MUCH?
I rolled my eyes. "No. He wasn't like that.
Stichwörter: humor cole-and-nikki
How come you" - I gasped - "recovered so quickly?"
"I dove."
"What?"
"I don't know how I knew. I think I heard lapping water or something right before we hit. So I twisted around and dove. Whereas you went flat as a pancake on your back."
"You could've told me."
"Yeah, because there was plenty of time for that," he said sarcastically.
Stichwörter: humor cole-and-nikki
What happened?" I asked, squinting at his face.
Cole glanced at Max. "I wanted to jump in after you. Max disagreed with the appropriateness of that reaction. And then his face ran into my fist.
Stichwörter: humor max cole nikki
I'm sure my unique brain tastes the same as a normal brain. Actually, mine might be slightly tastier.
J. Cornell MichelStichwörter: humor zombie-apocalypse
Everyone should be comfy during the apocalypse.
J. Cornell MichelStichwörter: humor apocalypse
We were like deaf people trying to dance to a beat we couldn't hear, long after the music actually stopped.
Brandon SandersonStichwörter: humor
Her heart slipped out of its life jacket and paddled toward the deep end of stupid, where the water was way over its head
Samanthe BeckVery Like a Whale
One thing that literature would be greatly the better for
Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and metaphor.
Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons or Celts,
Can'ts seem just to say that anything is the thing it is but have
to go out
of their way to say that it is like something else.
What foes it mean when we are told
That the Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold?
In the first place, George Gordon Byron had had enough experience
To know that it probably wasn't just one Assyrian, it was a lot
of Assyrians.
However, as too many arguments are apt to induce apoplexy and thus
hinder longevity,
We'll let it pass as one Assyrian for the sake of brevity.
Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming
in purple and gold,
Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf
on
the fold?
In heaven and earth more than is dreamed of in our philosophy there
are
a great many things,
But i don't imagine that among then there is a wolf with purple
and gold
cohorts or purple and gold anythings.
No, no, Lord Byron, before I'll believe that this Assyrian was actually
like a wolf I must have some kind of proof;
Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red
mouth and
big white teeth and did he say Woof woof?
Frankly I think it very unlikely, and all you were entitled to say,
at the
very most,
Was that the Assyrian cohorts came down like a lot of Assyrian cohorts
about to destroy the Hebrew host.
But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had
to
invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate
them,
With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers
to
people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot
of wolves dressed
up in gold and purple ate them.
That's the kind of thing that's being done all the time by poets,
from Homer
to Tennyson;
They're always comparing ladies to lilies and veal to venison,
And they always say things like that the snow is a white blanket
after a
winter storm.
Oh it is, is it, all right then, you sleep under a six-inch blanket
of snow and
I'll sleep under a half-inch blanket of unpoetical
blanket material and
we'll see which one keeps warm,
And after that maybe you'll begin to comprehend dimly,
What I mean by too much metaphor and simile.
Stichwörter: humor poetry poem word very-like-a-whale
I guess if you get too close, the twinkling stops; they don’t look like stars anymore.
Graham SpaidStichwörter: humor satire literary-fiction adult-fiction
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