What is the meaning of life?" asked man.
"Seek and ye shall find," said God. "That was my method."
The man replied, "How might I do that?"
"Take a setting," instructed God. "Add some dirt and water, mold it into something likeable. Let there be light to break up the darkness. Plant some trees and fruit. Don't forget to put in a few animals. Then create a few wild things that are as curious in thought as you, and let them figure the damned thing out.
Stichwörter: meaning-of-life god humour
Being amongst rough lives and confusion does not make you less, it only makes your beauty shine out more clearly.
Sharon SantStichwörter: love romance humour young-adult romantic-comedy growing-up-pains
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less!
E.A. BucchianeriStichwörter: humor procrastination humour funny internet alliteration wasting-time social-media social-networking temptations twitter twitter-quotes time-wasting twaddle twitter-addiction
Here is a man whose life and actions the world has already condemned - yet whose enormous fortune...has already brought him acquittal!
Marcus Tullius CiceroStichwörter: politics wealth lies justice humour sarcasm law guilt corruption dishonesty
Punching - 2 shillings
Both eyes blacked - 4 shillings
Nose and jaw broke - 10 shillings
Jacked out (knocked out with a blackjack) - 15 shillings
Ear chewed off - same as previous
Leg or arm broke - 19 shillings
Shot in leg - 25 shillings
Stab - same as previous
Doing the Big Job - 3 pounds and up
Stichwörter: humour
He spent a very uncomfortable few moments trying to remember his prepared position for explaining to God that he had nonetheless been right not to believe in Him on the basis of all available evidence, and that his empiricism and advocacy of sceptical enquiry was vindicated because faith-based belief had proven hugely detrimental to humankind's welfare. At the same time, another part of his brain was busy thinking: "Please don't let the Catholics be right, please don't let the Catholics be right.
Christopher BrookmyreStichwörter: humour
He felt water run down his back from the damp brickwork he was sitting against, and as he worried distantly about corrosion he realised you can always fall a little further. A moment ago he thought he'd bottomed out, but now he was concerned about personal rust. Mother of fuck.
Christopher BrookmyreStichwörter: humour
Told you I had some flavours," she said. "You like?"
Ross just gaped, and possibly trembled a little.
"You, er, made that yourself?"
"Yeah. That's what pisses me off about this place. You could be any incarnation of womanhood you an think of - so why do so many choose to conform to some fifteen-year-old dork's idea of it? Even in a world like Calastria, they'll still choose an appearance that's defined by sexuality. Do they think the guys try to look sexy when they're suiting up to fight dragons?"
"Er, not so much," Ross agreed, but her last remark had inadvertently channelled his inner fifteen-year-old dork. "There's going to be dragons?" he asked.
Stichwörter: humour
You're with Rapier squad. Mopping-up detail, under Sergeant Gortoss." He gestured along the corridor in the opposite direction from where Ross had just come.
"Turn left at the first pile of flaming debris and look for the most homicidally deranged bastard you can find. Ordinarily he'd be in a maximum-security prison, but when there's a war on, he's just the kind of chap you want inside the tent pissing out."
"Yes sir," said Ross, by which he meant, "Holy mother of fuck.
Stichwörter: humour
I should be used to the way Americans dress when traveling, yet it still manages to amaze me. It’s as if the person next to you had been washing shoe polish off a pig, then suddenly threw down his sponge saying, “Fuck this. I’m going to Los Angeles!
David SedarisStichwörter: humour
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