Would you ask a man who bags groceries if he fears death not because it is death but because there are still some interesting groceries he would like to bag?

Don DeLillo

Stichwörter: death humour philosophical



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I don’t reckon it’s allowed, going round setting fire to people,” said Adam. “Otherwise people’d be doin’ it all the time.”
“It’s all right if you’re religious,” said Brian reassuringly. “And it stops the witches from goin’ to Hell, so I expect they’d be quite grateful if they understood it properly.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: heaven humour hell fire witches



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Three very crowded hours went past. They involved quite a lot of phone calls, telexes, and faxes. Twenty-seven people were got out of bed in quick succession and they got another fifty-three out of bed, because if there is one thing a man wants to know when he’s woken up in a panic at 4:00 A.M., it's that he's not alone.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humour



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It might have interested Newt to know that, of the thirty-nine thousand women tested with the pin during the centuries of witch-hunting, twenty-nine thousand said “ouch,” nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine didn’t feel anything because of the use of the aforesaid retractable pins, and one witch declared that it had miraculously cleared up the arthritis in her leg.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humour witches



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Woss the matter with you?” asked Big Ted, irritably. “Go on. Press ‘D.’ Elvis Presley died in 1976.”
I DON’T CARE WHAT IT SAYS, said the tall biker in the helmet, I NEVER LAID A FINGER ON HIM.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: death humour elvis



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He had done regular live concerts from San Quentin jail until the civil rights people got him under the Cruel and Unusual Punishment clause.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: music humour jail



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His knowledge of country lore was a little hazy, but he felt fairly sure that if the cows lay down, it meant rain. If they were standing it would probably be fine. These cows were taking it in turns to execute slow and solemn somersaults; and Tyler wondered what it presaged for the weather.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humour cows weather



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D’yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!”
Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: food humour nails



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As one veteran Russian pilot dryly told me:"We have to be very careful flying in the clouds. Around here they are full of rocks.

Alan Hinkes

Stichwörter: humour flying mountaineering black-humor helicopter-pilots



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There are a great many aspects to feline life, but the three most important - the Holy Trinity, if you will - are eating, sleeping and washing.

Jem Vanston

Stichwörter: humour cats-humor



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