How could you do that to me?" I repeat. I don´t have to itemize. He knows what I speak of.
Eventually N produces three answers, in this order:
1. "Because I am a complete rotter." I silently agree, but it´s a cop-out: I have maggots, therefore I am dead.
2. "I was stressed at work and unhappy and we were always fighting...and you know I was just crazy..."
I cut him off, saying, "You don´t get to be crazy. You did exactly what you chose to do."
Which is true, he did. It is what he has always done. He therefore seems slightly puzzled at the need for further diagnosis, which may explain his third response:
3. "I don´t know."
This, I feel instinctively, is the correct answer. How can I stay angry with him for being what he is? I was, after all, his wife, and I chose him. No coincidences, that´s what Freud said. None. Ever.
I wipe my eyes on my sleeve and walk toward the truck, saying to his general direction, "Fine. At least now I know: You don´t know."
I stop and turn around and fire one more question: a bullet demanding attention in the moment it enters the skin and spreads outward, an important bullet that must be acknowledged.
"What did you feel?"
After a lengthy pause, he answers. "I felt nothing."
And that, I realize too late, was not the whole truth, but was a valid part of the truth.
Oh, and welcome to the Serengeti. That too.
Stichwörter: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year.
Edna St. Vincent MillayStichwörter: heart relationships seasons infidelity summer
Infidelity is an opium of unfaithfulness.
Toba BetaStichwörter: satisfaction infidelity disloyalty unfaithfulness opium disaffection
When would he realize that it wasn't his infidelity I couldn't bear, but his cowardice?
Tatiana de RosnayStichwörter: infidelity
If theft is advantageous to everyone who succeeds at it, and adultery is a good strategy, at least for males, for increasing presence in the gene pool, why do we feel they are wrong? Shouldn't the only morality that evolution produces be the kind Bill Clinton had - being sorry you got caught?
Robert J. SawyerStichwörter: morality evolution darwinism infidelity natural-selection adultery theft stealing survival-of-the-fittest macro-evolution macroevolution social-darwinism
livid, adj.
Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.
Stichwörter: love hate infidelity cheating
Touch. It is touch that is the deadliest enemy of chastity, loyalty, monogamy, gentility with its codes and conventions and restraints. By touch we are betrayed and betray others ... an accidental brushing of shoulders or touching of hands ... hands laid on shoulders in a gesture of comfort that lies like a thief, that takes, not gives, that wants, not offers, that awakes, not pacifies. When one flesh is waiting, there is electricity in the merest contact.
Wallace StegnerStichwörter: touch betrayal longing infidelity
When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're both lying to you!
Susan ForwardStichwörter: lies trust liar deceit infidelity compulsive-liars pathological-liars
The punishment of vertical rending was given to those who had destroyed marriages to satisfy their own lust.
Cindy PonStichwörter: infidelity cindy-pon fury-of-the-phoenix
There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it’s the endings we’re unprepared for.
Katherine OwenStichwörter: love relationships trust grief heartbreak infidelity
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