Sessanta donne crocifisse!”
Che uomo stupido, privo di tatto! La Cristianità rabbrividirà con orrore alla notizia.
“Profanazione del simbolo sacro.” Questo è quanto griderà la Cristianità. Sì, la Cristianità si agiterà. Può sentirmi accusato di mezzo milione di omicidi l’anno per vent’anni e mantenere la sua compostezza, ma profanare il Simbolo è tutt’altra storia. Lo considererà un fatto grave. Si sveglierà e vorrà dare un’occhiata al mio passato. Agitarsi? Lo farà senz’altro, mi sembra già di sentire un lontano brusio… È stato un errore crocifiggere le donne, chiaramente un errore, palesemente un errore, ora me ne accorgo anch’io, e mi dispiace che sia accaduto, davvero mi dispiace. Credo che sarebbe stata una risposta altrettanto buona scorticarle vive…
[Con un sospiro] Ma nessuno di noi ci ha pensato; non si può pensare a tutto; e in fondo, tutto sommato, errare non è che umano.
Stichwörter: satire
A fig for those by law protected!
Liberty's a glorious feast!
Courts for cowards were erected,
Churches built to please the priest!
Stichwörter: satire inspirational-attitude
You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down, this is important…The world is f**ked up because I eat WonderBread preserved with formaldehyde that lasts three weeks and will never grow mold as long as it’s kept in its magic silver bag. The world is f**ked up because I know my cans of tuna have mercury in it. The world is f**ked up because I know my flake light tuna and WonderBread are poisonous, yet I still eat them!
Shannon LyndsyStichwörter: humor environmentalism satire
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No one washes their hands after they piss unless they’re in a public place. If I’m at the airport, or a restaurant, and someone else is there, I’ll soap up for the sake of civilization, but it’s only for show, I don’t really care if I have ultraviolet traces of urine or feces on my hands. But, if I see someone walk oudda the men’s without soaping up I’ll think he’s deranged, borderline psychotic. At least pretend that washing your hands matters. You know, for the sake of civilization.
Shannon LyndsyStichwörter: humor satire hygiene
I believe in Supreme Being, a Creator, whoever he may be, it's of no importance to me, who put us here on earth to do our duty as citizens and fathers; but I don't need to go to church and kiss silver platters and dig into my pocket to fatten up a lot of humbugs who eat better than you or I do! Because he can be worshiped just as well in a wood, a field, or even just gazing at the ethereal vault, like the ancients.
Gustave FlaubertStichwörter: philosophy religion satire
But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.
Terry PratchettStichwörter: morality dragons satire
أتحدى اسرائيل ان تفعل بنا مثلما فعلنا بأنفسنا
Naguib MahfouzStichwörter: humor satire sarcasm
By educating me at home, my parents were able to give me individualized attention without the usual distractions that kids in regular school experience, like dating and friendship. Not to mention that traditional school can be dangerous. I’ve heard about kids catching the flu and chicken pox, even Judaism.
And how about those poor kids lugging all those heavy books to and from school every day? My books never went anywhere, just like me. I felt so bad when I’d see kids on my street giggling and chasing each other around with those awkward backpacks.
Stichwörter: humor satire funny homeschooling
LEARN FROM THE MASTERS:
Mark Twain once said, “Show, don’t tell.” This is an incredibly important lesson for writers to remember; never get such a giant head that you feel entitled to throw around obscure phrases like “Show, don’t tell.” Thanks for nothing, Mr. Cryptic.
Stichwörter: humor writing satire funny
How rude of me, we haven’t even introduced ourselves. We’re the Andersons. I’m Evan, the lovely size-zero lass in the floppy sun hat is my wife Amy, and these are our best friends/children, Evan and Amy Jr. As you can see, we’re very fit and active. You know what our family’s average percentage of body fat is? Three. Yes, really. We got it tested last year when we all became organ donors.
You may have noticed that I’m carrying Amy on my back. We do that a lot. At least once a day, and not just when we’re in fields like this; we do it on beaches and in urban environments as well. That’s what happens when your love is deep and playful like ours. You should also know that we also dab frosting on each other’s noses every single time we eat cupcakes, which is both mischievous and very us. Do you guys even eat cupcakes?
Stichwörter: humor family satire funny perfection
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