Well, if pirates are bad,
And vampires are worse,
Then I pray that as long as I be
That though I sing of Vampirates
I never one shall see.
Yea, if pirates are danger
And vampires are death,
I'll extend my prayer for thee-
That thine eyes never see a Vampirate

...and they never lay a hand on thee

Justin Somper

Stichwörter: pirates vampire vampirates



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But I didn't know about the other story."
"What other story?”
"About how you and Adrian Ivashkov are—"
"No, whatever you heard it’s not true."
"But it was really romantic"
"Then it’s definitely not true.

Richelle Mead

Stichwörter: vampire rose academy jill jillian



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I am a vampire, and that is the truth.

Christopher Pike

Stichwörter: opening-lines horror vampire



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She took out a shiny folded pamphlet, the kind they kept stacked in clear plastic stands in hospital waiting rooms. "How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire.

Cassandra Clare

Stichwörter: humour vampire mortal-instruments



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Humanity was a passing notion to him; something he liked to try on for size and model in the dressing room, but never actually felt compelled to buy.

R.N. Jayne

Stichwörter: humor dark lgbt author vampire master glbt kindle ebook jane-bled



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Welcome to the fascinating world of the undead! Please use this guidebook as a
handy reference as you make your first steps toward eternity. Inside you will find
information on vampire nutrition, relationships, and safety. But before learning
about your future, a word about our past…
—From The Guide for the Newly Undead

Molly Harper

Stichwörter: humor vampire



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The scent of growth, quiet and green, hung heavy in the air. I heard everything. I saw everything. I could count the craters on the moon. I could count every mosquito buzz past, bypassing my tender skin out of respect for a fellow bloodsucker.

Molly Harper

Stichwörter: humor vampire



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I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite of passage, a sacrament. It will not be wasted on some hormone-driven frenzy. This is why I wanted you to feed from me.”
“I will not drink it in a house, I will not drink it with a mouse. I will not drink it here or there, I will not drink it anywhere,” I wheezed, hoping I was able to communicate adequate sarcasm through the crippling belly cramps.
“Did you just quote Green Eggs and Ham?

Molly Harper

Stichwörter: humor vampire hungry



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In a werewolf pack, you cannot interfere with the mate choice of a clan fellow. You cannot intentionally harm that werewolf’s chosen mate. You are not, however, required to help that person should he find himself in a life - threatening situation.
Somehow, Zeb had managed to stumble into several such situations in the few months since he ’d been engaged to Jolene. He’d had several hunting “accidents” while visiting the McClaine farm, even though he didn’t hunt. The brakes on his car had failed while he was driving home from the farm—twice. Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft.
He would never get that pinkie toe back.

Molly Harper

Stichwörter: humor hunting vampire werewolf pinkie-toe



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Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours,” I said.
“I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial.
Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.

Molly Harper

Stichwörter: humor funeral vampire



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