I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.

Adam Rex


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it smelled the way a garage would smell if you left a bear inside it for too long.

Adam Rex

Tags: weird



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Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up.

Adam Rex

Tags: random funny



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There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.

Adam Rex

Tags: funny gross



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Can I see some ID?"

"WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN."

Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.

Adam Rex

Tags: canada funny crazy sane canadian



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What part of Canada are you from, honey?"

"THE LEFT PART," said Jay.

Adam Rex

Tags: canada funny



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They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?

Adam Rex

Tags: funny zoo t-shirt elephant



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...a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.

Adam Rex

Tags: women funny aunt



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Can I come into the out now? - Jlo

Adam Rex


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Ohh,' said the girl with a sad tilt of her head.

It was a response Sejal would hear a lot in the following weeks and which she would eventully come to understand meant, 'Ohh, India, that must be so hard for you, and I know because I read this book over the summer called The Fig Tree (which is actually set in Pakistan but I don't realize there's a difference) about a girl whose parents sell her to a sandal maker because everyone's poor and they don't care about girls there, and I bet that's why you're in our country even, and now everyone's probably being mean to you just because of 9/11, but not me although I'll still be watching you a little too closely on the bus later because what if you're just here to kill Americans?'

There was a lot of information encoded in that one vowel sound, so Sejal missed most of it at first.

Adam Rex

Tags: india



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