Seed biscuits and milk! I hated Mrs. Mullet's seed biscuits the way Saint Paul hated sin. Perhaps even more so.

Alan Bradley


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Why then had I heard nothing? Everyone knows that the killing of a human being requires the exertion of a certain amount of mechanical energy. I forget the exact formula, although I know there is one.

Alan Bradley


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I must warn you at the outset that I'm not at my best conversing with little girls," he announced.
I bit my lip and kept my mouth shut.
"A boy is content to be made into a civil man by caning, or any one of a number of other stratagems, but a girl, being disqualified by Nature, as it were, from such physical brutality, must remain forever something of a terra incognita. Don't you think?

Alan Bradley


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I realized at once that a great actress can never be greater than when she's starring in her own life.

Alan Bradley


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I lay for a long time in silence, staring at the ceiling. Was my life always to be like this? I wondered. Was it going to go, forever, in an instant, from sunshine to shadow? From pandemonium to loneliness? From fierce anger to a fiercer kind of love?

Alan Bradley

Tags: life



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Thinking and prayer are much the same thing anyway, when you stop to think about it -- if that makes any sense. Prayer goes up and thought comes down -- or so it seems. As far as I can tell, that's the only difference.

Alan Bradley


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Impertinent children ought to be given six coats of shellac and set up in public places as a warning to others.

Alan Bradley

Tags: humor



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...and I realized not without a sinking feeling that he was already completely in Feely’s thrall, hanging on her every word like ball on a rubber string, nodding like a demented woodpecker, and grinning like a fool.

Alan Bradley


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If God meant for pictures to be sent through the air He’d have never would have given us cinema. Or the national gallery.

Alan Bradley


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Spare us the pout, there’s enough lip in the world without you adding to it.

Alan Bradley


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