At one hundred, surely you learn to overcome loss and grief—or do they hound you till the bitter end?
André AcimanWe are not written for one instrument alone; I am not, neither are you.
André AcimanTags: relationships
Whoever said the soul and the body met in the pineal gland was a fool. It's the asshole, stupid.
André AcimanTags: divine-inspiration
New York may end up being no more than a scrim, a spectral film that is none other than our craving for romance—romance with life, with masonry, with memory, sometimes romance with nothing at all. This longing goes out to the city and from the city comes back to us. Call it narcissism. Or call it passion. It has its flare-ups, its cold nights, its sudden lurches, and its embraces. It is our life finally revealed to us in the most lifeless hard objects we'll ever cast eyes on: concrete, steel, stonework. Our need for intimacy and love is so powerful that we'll look for them and find them in asphalt and soot.
André AcimanTags: cities-spaces-places
Shame, which is the reluctance to be who we're not even sure we are, could end up being the deepest thing about us, deeper even than who we are, as though beyond identity were buried reefs and sunken cities teeming with creatures as we couldn't begin to name because they came long before us.
André AcimanWe rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste!
André AcimanTags: love italy aciman call-me-by-your-name
What he was after hangs between the visible and the invisible, between the here and now and the seemingly elsewhere.
André AcimanTags: art travel monet my-monet-moment
If there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don't snuff it out, don't be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we'd want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste! (p. 225)
André AcimanTags: unrequited-love choices-and-consequences coming-out love-and-loss
Everyone goes through a period of Traviamento - when we take, say, a different turn in life, the other via. Dante himself did. Some recover, some pretend to recover, some never come back, some chicken out before even starting, and some, for fear of taking any turns, find themselves leading the wrong life all life long.
André AcimanTags: unrequited-love choices-and-consequences love-and-loss
Most of us can't help but live as though we've got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between. But there's only one, and before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now there's sorrow. I don't envy the pain. But I envy you the pain. (p. 225)
André AcimanTags: unrequited-love choices-and-consequences coming-out love-and-loss
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