The people who succeed despite depression do three things. First, they seek an understanding of what's happening. They they accept that this is a permanent situation. And then they have to transcend their experience and grow from it and put themselves out into the world of real people.
Andrew SolomonThat, in essence, is the catastrophe of suicide for those who survive: not only the loss of someone, but the loss of the chance to persuade that person to act differently, the loss of the chance to connect.
Andrew SolomonThe opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality and my life, as I write this, is vital even when sad. I may wake up sometime next year without my mind again; it is not likely to stick around all the time. Meanwhile, however, I have discovered what I would have to call a soul, a part of myself I could never have imagined until one day, seven years ago, when hell came to pay me a surprise visit. It's a precious discovery. Almost every day I feel momentary flashes of hopelessness and wonder every time whether I am slipping. For a petrifying instant here and there, a lightning-quick flash, I want a car to run me over...I hate these feelings but, but I know that they have driven me to look deeper at life, to find and cling to reasons for living, I cannot find it in me to regret entirely the course my life has taken. Every day, I choose, sometimes gamely, and sometimes against the moment's reason, to be alive. Is that not a rare joy?
Andrew SolomonTags: life depression
Absence does not so much make the heart grow fonder as give the heart time to integrate what it has not previously absorbed, time to make sense of what happened too quickly to have any meaning in the instant. This is always true. If it is in absence that people forget each other, it is also in the quiet pause of absence that, minds running in symmetry, people come to know each other; there is sometimes as much intimacy in the span of continents as in the shared hours before dawn.
Andrew SolomonTags: profound-realizations
La depressione è un’incrinatura dell’amore. Per essere capaci di amare dobbiamo essere capaci di disperarci per ciò che perdiamo e la depressione è il meccanismo con cui esprimiamo questa disperazione. Quando sopravviene, distrugge il nostro sé e finisce per annullare la capacità di donare e di ricevere affetto. È la solitudine interiore, che si manifesta e annienta non solo il legame con gli altri, ma anche la capacità di restare serenamente soli con se stessi.
Andrew SolomonTags: depressione
L’opposto della depressione non è la felicità, ma la vitalità, e la mia vita, mentre scrivo, è pregna di vitalità anche quando è triste. Un giorno o l’altro, il prossimo anno, mi capiterà di svegliarmi nuovamente privo di senno: è improbabile che mi mantenga stabile per sempre. Nel frattempo, però, ho scoperto quella che si chiama anima, una parte di me che non avrei mai immaginato esistesse prima che, un giorno di sette anni fa, l’inferno mi facesse una visita inaspettata. È una scoperta preziosa.
Andrew SolomonTags: depressione vitalità
It is not true that "love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." Love alters all the time; it is fluid, in perceptual flux, an evolving business across a lifetime.
Andrew SolomonTags: love parenthood
when describing children with Down's Syndrome, he called a child 'heart spontaneous'.
Andrew SolomonHaving always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. Difference unites us. While each of these experiences can isolate those who are affected, together they compose an aggregate of millions whose struggles connect them profoundly. The exceptional is ubiquitous; to be entirely typical is the rare and lonely state.
Andrew SolomonTo look deep into your child's eyes and see in him both yourself and something utterly strange, and then to develop a zealous attachment to every aspect of him, is to achieve parenthood's self-regarding, yet unselfish, abandon. It is astonishing how often such mutuality had been realized - how frequently parents who had supposed that they couldn't care for an exceptional child discover that they can. The parental predisposition to love prevails in the most harrowing of circumstances. There is more imagination in the world than one might think.
Andrew SolomonTags: inspirational love parenting
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