Nothing is more attractive than universal appeal. That is what makes androgyny the peacekeeping persuasion.
BauvardSome people won't have kids, but I’m not going to have parents. I’m burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight.
BauvardThe stars have a strong effect on our daily shopping lives. Hollywood is astrology’s only credible conspiracy.
BauvardTags: humor funny celebrities astrology
What’s outside my head and what’s inside my head aren’t worth mentioning. What’s worth mentioning is what’s on my head – my hair. Whatever happens, I’ll still be as fashionably coiffed as I was before the war broke out and I got dementia.
BauvardIt’s best to only exercise when the air conditioning is working properly outside. A strong wind ensures one doesn’t sweat very much.
BauvardCareers are not made in a family business, they are born – by patricide. Then they die from neglect, and avoid the tragedy of being put out of business.
BauvardTags: humor family funny careers
When one's unconscious is full of vice, nothing realizes inner potential like hypocrisy.
BauvardWe need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in.
BauvardTags: humor funny trees deforestation
Don’t take drugs. Asking politely promotes healthy stereotypes.
BauvardI hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.
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