I look up, and he’s searching my eyes, just like he did after kissing me for the first time in the rain. “What are you looking for?”
He doesn’t answer.
He doesn’t need to.
I know what he wants.
And it’s not fair.
“Just because we’re the only two teenagers on this whole ship doesn’t mean I have to love you. Why can’t I have a choice? Options?”
Elder steps back, stung.
“Look, it’s not that I don’t like you,” I say quickly, reaching for him. He jerks away. “It’s just…”
“Just what?” he growls.
Just that if I was back on Earth instead of on this damn ship, if I had met Elder at school or at a club or on a blind date, if I had my choice between Elder and every other boy in the world…Would I love him then?
Would he love me?
Love without choice isn’t love at all.
“Just that I don’t want to be with you just because there’s no one else.” [p.57-58]
Así de frágil es la vida de una generación en una nave espacial: el peso de nuestra existencia se basa en un motor roto.
Beth RevisI open my mouth. I want o say: I'm breaking, and i need someone to hold me together.
But no sound comes out.
I feel alone.
I don't mean i feel lonely; I mean i feel alone, the same way i feel the blanket resting on my body, or the feathers of my pillow under my head, or the tight string of my sleep pants twisted up around my waist. I feel alone as if it were an actual thing, seeping throughout this whole level like mist blanketing a field, reaching into all the hidden corners of my room and finding nothing living but me. It's a cold sort of feeling, this.
Love without choice isn't love at all.
Beth RevisSo you’re sticking with me, and I’m sticking with you.
Beth RevisCuando tenía catorce años, mi padre me llevó a cazar con él, en Colorado, y maté a un alce. Lo hizo para que supiera lo que es quitar una vida, de modo que no dudara en hacerlo cuando lo necesitara. Te estoy diciendo esto ahora, de modo que sepas que no dudaré en matarte.(...) También quiero que sepas que no te voy a matar de inmediato. Pero vas a desear que lo hubiese hecho.
-Amy
Todo lo que tuve que hacer fue morir un rato, ¡y ahora tienes un nuevo planeta!
Beth RevisMemories always kill nightmares.
Beth RevisEmotion courses through my veins, choking me. I feel so insignificant, a tiny speck surrounded by a million stars.
A million suns.
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