Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.

Bill Watterson


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I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose

Bill Watterson

Tags: calvin-and-hobbes



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County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?

Bill Watterson

Tags: calvin-and-hobbes



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Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.”
"See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?”
“Sure, I’m hungry too

Bill Watterson

Tags: calvin-and-hobbes



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I wonder where we go when we die?”
“…Pittsburgh?”
“You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?

Bill Watterson

Tags: calvin-and-hobbes



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It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.

Bill Watterson


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Calvin: Know what I pray for?
Hobbes: What?
Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.

Bill Watterson


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The problem with people is that they're only human.

Bill Watterson


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Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

Bill Watterson

Tags: philosophy television calvin-and-hobbes karl-marx



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Paul Gauguin asked, "whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?" Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside! See ya later! Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?

Bill Watterson


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