I love you above all things, even pie.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor



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This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor grammar



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Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor



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There's always a bloody ghost.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor



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I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is "ho" always feminine, and "muthafucka" always masculine, while "bitch" can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be "stupid"? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor



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Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn't sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.

Christopher Moore


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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor



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May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor curse malediction insult irs



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There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin.

Christopher Moore

Tags: grief



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You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm."
"No kidding?" said Josh.
"Why do I waste my time with you?

Christopher Moore


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