Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn't get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.

Chuck Klosterman


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I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, "I did it because I'm a dirty dog." This is not a very convincing alibi. He may as well have said, "I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.

Chuck Klosterman

Tags: inspirational



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It's possible this whole "Why do Latinos love Morrisey?" question will haunt us forever. Fortunately, Canadian academics are on the case.

Chuck Klosterman


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It feels so exhausting to be so bad at something I loved so much.

Chuck Klosterman


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The soul is a circle

Chuck Klosterman


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Saying you like "Piano Man" doesn't mean you like Billy Joel; it means you're willing to go to a piano bar if there's nothing else to do

Chuck Klosterman


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Every one of Joel's important songs--including the happy ones--are ultimately about loneliness. And it's not 'clever lonely' (like Morrissey) or 'interesting lonely' (like Radiohead); it's 'lonely lonely,' like the way it feels when you're being hugged by someone and it somehow makes you sadder.

Chuck Klosterman


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Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.

Chuck Klosterman

Tags: humor sports



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You used to be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it's between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know.

Chuck Klosterman

Tags: cool hip hipster homeless



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Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time.

Chuck Klosterman

Tags: opinions wrong observation



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