The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.

Daniel Handler

Tags: humor movies



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We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.

Daniel Handler

Tags: adverbs



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There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.

Daniel Handler


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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.

Daniel Handler


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We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable.

Daniel Handler


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I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it's the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them.

Daniel Handler

Tags: belief fate goodness karma



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Once more, this is love: it rings and you open up unless it looks like an ax murderer.

Daniel Handler


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This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.

Daniel Handler


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The clock in his car hadn't adjusted to daylight saving time yet and said it was four-fifteen when it was really five-fifteen. Peter probably didn't have time to fiddle with it, or it was tricky, as car clocks are. I didn't mind. You can't mind these things, you just can't, for to dislike what makes a person human is to dislike all humans, or at least other people who can't work clocks. You have to love the whole person, if you are truly in love. If you are going to take a lifelong journey with somebody, you can't mind if the other person believes they are leaving for that journey an hour earlier than you, as long as truly, in the real world, you are both leaving at exactly the same time.

Daniel Handler


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Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.

Daniel Handler


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