...It's probably polite to pretend you don't see people coming out of pawnshops, anyhow.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny polite pawn-shop



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...What do you do with all your money?"
"Me and the French hoard gold.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor money gold funny french hoarding



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Alice opened the door when I rang. She had on green pyjamas and held a hairbrush in one hand. She looked wearily at Quinn and spoke wearily: "Bring it in."
I took it in and spread it on a bed. It mumbled something I could not make out and moved one hand feebly back and forth, but its eyes stayed shut.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny drunk



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You know Quinn?" Macaulay asked me.
"Ten minutes ago I was putting him to bed."
Macaulay grinned. "I hope you keep his acquaintance like that - social"
"Meaning what?"
Macaulay's grin became rueful. "He used to be my broker, and his advice led me right up to the poorhouse steps."
"That's sweet," I said. "he's my broker now and I'm following his advice." Macaulay and the girl laughed. I pretended I was laughing and returned to my table.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor money advice funny broker



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...What do people think about my staying with Harrison with him chasing everything that's hot and hollow?

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny infidelity



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Dorothy asked timidly: "Did his wife say anything?
"She sent her love to you."
Nora said: "Stop being nasty.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny infidelity



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...I guess I can put two and two together."
"Sometimes the answer's four," I said, "and sometimes it's twenty-two...

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny mathematics smartass



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Studsy returned alone. "Maybe I'm wrong," he said as he sat down, "but I think somebody could do something with that cluck if they took hold of her right."
Morelli said: "By the throat."
Studsy grinned good-naturedly. "No. She's trying to get somewhere. She works hard at her singing lessons and -

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humor funny



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I've been as bad an influence on American literature as anyone I can think of.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: literature mysteries mystery genre-fiction



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