I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
Dave BarryReading... a vacation for the mind....
Dave BarryTags: reading
Boy is this journey ever long. Also arduous.
Dave BarryI like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there's nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don't know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said 'If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.'
This makes as much sense to me as anything I ever heard from, for example, the Reverend Pat Robertson.
Tags: humor buddhism united-states sense obsession japanese reincarnation moral temples buddhists japanese-religion junio pat-robertson preachiness religious-people reverend
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave BarryWhat I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave BarryTags: death humorist outlook columnist
You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!
Dave BarryTags: dogs
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes.
Dave BarryThe Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club
Dave BarryElectricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
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