What did it matter to me? Did I think that by making you rational about one thing, I could make you rational about everything? Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to save you from your fears
David LevithanNobody ever took my picture. They didn't want to. Or I wouldn't let them.
You were the only exception.
You are leaving me messages, but I haven't gotten the message yet.
David LevithanPlus/minus
Positive/negative
1/0
I can/ I can't
I will/ I won't
You are/You aren't
I said/I thought
I said "I will"/I thought "I can't"
I thought "I can"/I said "You won't
If she'd been bleeding in the street, you would've run to get help. It's the same thing!"
"Typical," I could hear you saying back. "The whole point is that I wasn't bleeding in the street . I wasn't dying of cancer. You couldn't take an X-ray and see what was wrngsithme. You couldn't make such an easy diagnosis. You had to guess. And everybody guessed wrong."
But the things is, I hadn't even made the guess. I trusted that you knew what you were doing.
You were very convincing.
And I destroyed you.
Why do you want to put more smoke inside of you?
David LevithanIt felt a littlel less like a game. A trick. A trap.
David LevithanWhats up?" he asked.
Up, I thought.
"This," I said, looking down at the photo in my hand.
Down, I thought.
Up or down.
We're you in an up or down?
I said I hated life. You said you hated life. We decided to hate it together.
David Levithan« first previous
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