I take one day off," he says, "and you almost get yourself killed."

"Almost being the operative word."

"Killed being the operative word. Almost is the word Killed used to beat up in high school.

D.D. Barant

Tags: humor



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I stare at him. "Gee, don't feel like you have to sugarcoat it or anything."

"Some people need a cold dose of reality to help them focus."

"You could have just slapped me."

"I considered it. But you hate clichés, and I hate being shot."

"Good point. Plus, this is a hospital. Guns are kind of noisy."

"Are they? I thought it was just a personal statement on your part, like women who wear too much makeup.

D.D. Barant

Tags: humor



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Deep spirit scanning,” Eisfanger says. His voice has a strange resonance to it, like I’m hearing him through a bad phone connection. “Don’t worry, it’s completely safe. Well, mostly.”

Mostly?

“Side effects have been documented,” he admits. “In a very small percentage of cases. Less than two percent.”

“What kind of side effects?” Suddenly I’m feeling nauseous. Feels like the ants are crawling around inside me now, which is exactly as disturbing as it sounds.

“Memory loss. Synesthesia. And occasionally … vestigial growths.”

“So I could forget my own name, start smelling purple everywhere and have an extra nipple sprout from my forehead?

D.D. Barant

Tags: humor memory-loss side-effects nipple synesthesia



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I don't do romance, in the same way I don't do heroin Russian roulette, or nude alligator wrestling. I consider all of the above self-destructive, and demeaning and these are things up with which I will not put.

D.D. Barant

Tags: romance urban-fantasy eloquently-put



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What happens if I try to run?” I ask as the doors close. (jace)
“I’ll stop you.” (charlie)
“You don’t look too quick.” (jace)
“You’d be surprised.” (charlie)
“I hate surprises.” (jace)
“Then don’t run. (charlie)

D.D. Barant

Tags: dying-bites barant



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I've got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts - you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn't do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.

D.D. Barant

Tags: guilt depression self-loathing regret insomnia



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You can't do that kind of thing normally, but normal dumped without a note nearly a month ago. These days, I'll happily set fire to a bridge the second after I've crossed it - I don't plan on being around for the consequences to catch up with me.

D.D. Barant

Tags: daring danger chances risks normal reckless risky burning-bridges loose-cannon



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My backup plan is to challenge Bearbreaker to single combat, defeat him, become Queen of the Zerkers and spend the rest of my life riding a giant motorcycle over frozen tundra.

D.D. Barant

Tags: humor



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I don't care if we're on our way to look at the dismembered corpse of the pope, I want coffee.

D.D. Barant

Tags: humor



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Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casius

oh i do,I'm just so pissed i had extra left over - Jace

D.D. Barant

Tags: humor anger scarcasm



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