Are you hurt? Are you injured?" / "No, just a bruise or two. I'm fine, really. You don't have to worry about me." / "Stephanie, you jumped off a building." / "Yes, but the branches broke my fall. Every one of them." / "And how were the branches?" / "A lot unlike pillows.
Derek LandyHe said a bad word. Do you want to know what it was? It started with F. It's not the one you're thinking of, though. To the other one. The one that ends with P. do you want to know what it was? It was troop." She frowned. "Wait that's not a word.
Derek LandyTags: humour swearing misunderstanding clarabell
Even as she'd been writing it, she wondered if she was using too many exclamation marks, but she was glad she left them in. Nothing says "all is good in the world" like exclamation marks, after all.
Derek LandyTags: writing texting exclamation-marks
mostly we've had to found ways to amuse ourselves."
"Really?" Valkyrie asked. "Like what?"
Plight's smile faded. "Like human sacrifice."
He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.
Then they both let go. laughing.
"Naw," Plight said, we just play board games."
..."she fell for it!" gasped Lenka. "She fell for the human sacrifice bit!
Tags: tricks humour sacrifice prank
People!" she screamed. "There are people here! New people!
Derek LandyTags: humour excitement lenka
Ah...Dectective, this is a very private and personal moment for them both. I'm sure you can understand their need for-"
A man stumbled out clutching a sheet round his waist and Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Whoa," she said as he hummed into a table. He was tall and sandy-haired and his physique was jaw-dropping lay amazing. "No way," she said. "Scapegrace?"
The man looked at her, and shook his head. The a woman came charging out of the back room, slammed into the man and they both went rolling across the floor.
"Give it to me!" The woman screamed. "Give it to me!"
Nye scuttled over. "Mr Scapegrace, you know the procedure cannot be repeated, your brains are in far too deteriorated a condition."
"You! Gave! Me! The! Wrong! Body!
Tags: humour scapegrace body-swap gerald nye transplants
I could've died because you had to tie your shoelace?
Derek LandyYou’re seventeen. You’re supposed to be dealing with school and hormones and dim-witted parents. You’re supposed to be finding out who you are as a person.”
“But I already know who I am,” Valkyrie said. “I’m a world-breaker.
I don’t need you sensitive, Skulduggery. I need you aloof and irresponsible and arrogant. That’s why I love you. That’s why I let you hang out with me.”
“I’m truly blessed.”
She grinned. “You love me, too. Once you admit it, everything will be better.”
“They’re about to hook up the Cube to the Accelerator,” he said, and turned and walked off.
She followed. “You can’t run from your feelings.”
“I can walk from them.
Now, before you begin to worry, the section of the gaol that I’m standing in is completely secure. No problems here. I’m not in any danger whatsoever.”
“And the section I’m standing in?”
“Well,” he said, “the important thing to remember is that I’m perfectly safe.”
Valkyrie sighed. “I’m stuck in here with the bad guys, aren’t I?”
“Or you could be glass-half-full about it and say that they are stuck in there with you. Which might make you feel better.
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