Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,
Painter or plumber or never-do-well,
Do me a favor and shut your face -
Poets alone should kiss and tell.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: love men relationships gossip



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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: reading books book-lovers book reading-books



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It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.

Dorothy Parker


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I'm of the glamorous ladies
At whose beckoning history shook.
But you are a man, and see only my pan,
So I stay at home with a book.

Dorothy Parker


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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

Dorothy Parker


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But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: wisdom happiness-life professor-phelps william-lyon-phelps



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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: innuendo double-entendre naughty riddle hormone



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Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend-
Bed awaits me at the end.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: bed pragmatic



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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: writing



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Somewhere, there, is an analogy, in a small way, if you have the patience for it. But I guess it isn't a very good anecdote. I'm better at animal stories.

Dorothy Parker


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