If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.

Dorothy Parker


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There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

Dorothy Parker


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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.

Dorothy Parker


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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: love



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If I didn't care for fun and such,
I'd probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: apathy pleasure fame



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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new,
And pristine is my hat
My dress is 1922…
My life is all like that.

Dorothy Parker


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[On Oscar Wilde:]

"If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

[Life Magazine, June 2, 1927]

Dorothy Parker

Tags: humor wit tribute oscar-wilde epigrams credit



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The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: humor money



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Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never serious be, nor true,
And your wish will come to you--
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: humor love



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He'll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don't like you to cry. He doesn't cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. I wish I could hurt him like hell.

He doesn't wish that about me. I don't think he even knows how he makes me feel. I wish he could know, without my telling him. They don't like you to tell them they've made you cry. They don't like you to tell them you're unhappy because of them. If you do, they think you're possessive and exacting. And then they hate you. They hate you whenever you say anything you really think. You always have to keep playing little games. Oh, I thought we didn't have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can't, ever. I guess there isn't ever anything big enough for that.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: men



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