It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
Dorothy ParkerTags: inspirational abortion
If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again,
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn…
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Dorothy ParkerTags: humor misattributed drinking wordplay spoonerism
The ladies men admire, I've heard,
Would shudder at a wicked word.
Their candle gives a single light,
They'd rather stay at home at night.
They do not keep awake 'till three,
Nor read erotic poetry.
They never sanction the impure,
Nor recognize an overture.
They shrink from powders and from paints...
So far I've had no complaints.
Ah, clear they see and true they say
That one shall weep, and one shall stray
Tags: couples young-love
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
Dorothy ParkerThe Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
Dorothy ParkerSome men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that cleans up the matter.
His books are exciting and powerful and — if I may filch the word from the booksy ones — pulsing.
Dorothy ParkerBut I don't give up; I forget why not.
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