He didn't know why he had become president of the galaxy, except that it seemed a fun thing to be.
Douglas AdamsThere was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine. Now concentrate!
Douglas AdamsI'm a writer and I'm feeling like death, as you would too if you'd just flown into Grand Rapids, Michigan at some ungodly hour of the morning only to discover that you can't get into your hotel room for another three hours. In fact it's enough just to have flown into Grand Rapids, Michigan. If you are a native of Grand Rapids, Michigan, then please assume that I am just kidding. Anyone else will surely realise that I am not.
Having nowhere else to go, I am standing up, leaning against a mantelpiece. Well, a kind of mantelpiece. I don't know what it is, in fact. It's made of brass and some kind of plastic and was probably drawn in by the architect after a nasty night on the town. That reminds me of another favourite piece of information: there is a large kink in the trans-Siberian railway because when the Czar (I don't know which Czar it was because I am not in my study at home I'm leaning against something shamefully ugly in Michigan and there are no books) decreed that the trans-Siberian railway should be built, he drew a line on a map with a ruler. The ruler had a nick in it.
Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
Douglas AdamsPerhaps I would like a glass of whisky. Yes, that seems more likely.
Douglas AdamsIt seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.
Douglas AdamsTags: humor civilization logic h2g2 hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy wonko-the-sane
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied.
Douglas AdamsTags: life meaning-of-life universe universeing-occupied
As soon as Mr. Prosser realized that he was substantially the loser after all, it was as if a weight lifted itself off his shoulders: this was more like the world as he knew it.
Douglas AdamsTags: humor acceptance normalcy relief
In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot.
Douglas AdamsTags: humor life death tragedy irony
Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.
Douglas AdamsTags: humor fitting-in deep-thoughts
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