Love is when you give someone else the power to destroy you, and you trust them not to do it.
E. LockhartOh, just you wait. I'll have, like Great Danes and pygmy goats and maybe even a baby panda living with me. That is what panic does to people if the attacks get bad enough.
E. LockhartDon't worry, said Frankie. I'm indelible.
E. LockhartShe wasn't a person who needed to be liked so much as she was a person who liked to be notorious.
E. LockhartTags: notoriety
They planned to know one another when they were ancient and gray-"when we're doddering around with canes and have forgotten the names of our wives, we will still be Bassets,and still be young in our hearts.
E. Lockhart...you must wear clothes, you must honor your teachers, you must not attack fellow students' dorm rooms with chain saws.
E. LockhartA tomato may be a fruit, but it is a singular fruit. A savory fruit. A fruit that has ambitions far beyond the ambitions of other fruits.
E. LockhartWe know what you are thinking. It is not girls who need lessons in how to talk on the telephone.
We are experts at it.
Some of us could even medal in it.
The problem is the boys. And they need to shape up.
True, true, true.
However.
The boys are not going to shape up. They are not going to read magazines or informational textbooks such as this one that tell them how to talk to girls on the telephone. And they are not going to magically figure out how to converse either. It is a demonstrated fact that even bona fide boyfriends such as Finn and Jackson and Kaleb are hit with paralyzing stupidity and boringness on the telephone, and you, my girlfriends, you are the only ones who can do anything about it.
Some tried-and-true tips
1. No feelings. Not if you can possibly avoid it. Feelings in person only.
2. No long silences. The male of the species hates long silences. If he is silent, say, “I gotta go, I’ll see you later.” And hang up. This is mysterious and alluring. And if it is not, at least you don’t have any more awkwardness.
3. Some people will tell you that you shouldn’t call guys, you should wait for them to call you. Hello? This is the twenty-first century. We can call them.
4. But have a reason. Don’t call “just to talk,” because they have nothing to talk about. Have a story to tell them, or ask if they watched some TV show just now, or ask about homework, or make a plan for the weekend.
Tags: boyfriend
It’s not like I want to be friends with you now, Frankie. Don’t even talk to me, I seriously can’t deal with you.
I’m just writing to say I underestimated you. I significantly underestimated you. I don’t actually think it is possible to overestimate you. Although you are not a nice person.
Tags: alpha frankie underestimating
Elaine Oliver is one of those people who thinks she needs to yell into a cell phone and cannot imagine anyone else might hear her conversation. 'I'm stiff from that yoga class Juana made me go to!' she was shouting, presumably to Dad. 'I did something to my groin area. ... Sure, you can massage it later.
E. LockhartTags: embarrassing-parents
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