Some people
Never find the right kind of love
you know, the kind that steals
your breath away.
Like diving into a snowmelt.
The kind that jolts your heart,
sets it beating apace.
An anxious hiccuping of hummingbirds wings.
The kind that makes every terrible minute apart feel like hours.
Days.
Years.
Some people flit from one insane possibility to the next.
Never experincing the connection of two people.
rocked by destiny.
Never knowing what it means to love someone else,
more than themselves.
More than life itself, or the promise of something better.
Beyond this world,
More even (forgive me!) than god.
Lucky me, I found the right kind of love.
With the wrong person.

Ellen Hopkins

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Don't make me laugh, I'd much rather cry.

Ellen Hopkins

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Losing It

Some days I think
I'm losing my mind.
What seems so
clear
most of the time
becomes a big question mark.
Am I really
the way
I percieve myself, or
is the person others see
the truth of me? I wait
for
answers, but inside
I know I have to go out
and find them. And
answers
like knowledge, are
not always where we
first look for them.

Ellen Hopkins

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Smoke

You stand infront of me,
pretending to be solid,
but you are nothing more
than smoke and
mirors.
You said you'd never leave,
that you would care for us forever,
but now you claim you
cannot
stay?
That you've been called away.
When you go,
who will i turn to when it all
crashes down?
Tell
me who.
Then tell me,
how I can believe
anone again, if all your promises have been
lies.

Ellen Hopkins

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Eyes Tell Stories
But do they know how
to craft fiction? Do
they know how to spin
lies?
His eyes swear forever,
flatter with vows of only
me. But are they empty
promises?
I stare into his eyes, as
into a crystal ball, but
I cannot find forever,
only
movies of yesterday,
a sketchbook of today,
dreams of a shared
tomorrow.
His eyes whisper secrets.
But are they truths or fairy tales?
I wonder if even he
knows.

Ellen Hopkins

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Being In Love

Means hard questions.
Will I? Won't I?
Should I? Could I?
Yes? No?
You?
Me? There is no me
without you.
Is there a you without
me?
And if were truly one.
how will I breathe
when circomstance pries
us
apart?
You are my oxygen.
my substance,
the blood inside my veins.
When
we
touch, you are my skin.
hold all my joy inside of you.
When you go, I
wither.

Ellen Hopkins

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crawling up into daddy's lap
when dad was still

DADDY

nodding my head against his chest soaking in the comfort of his heart

LISTENING

to the thump...thump
somewhere beneath muscle
and breastbone I remember his arms
their sublime

ENCIRCLING

and the shawdow of his voice
"I love you, little girl.
Put away your bad dreams.
Daddy's here"

I put them away, Until Daddy became my nightmare that one that came

HOME

from work everyday and instead
of picking me up, chased me far
far
away

Ellen Hopkins

Tags: abuse

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You were a summer gift, one I'll always treasure. You were a dream I never wanted to wake up from. You opened my eyes to things I'll never really see. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me.

Ellen Hopkins

Tags: love

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It was body rush
After body rush,
intensity building.

Touch me there.

Ellen Hopkins

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I don’t think God has a gender. I don’t think God hates gays or Democrats, and I don’t think you have to be Born Again to find your way to Heaven. I believe God expects us to care for one another, even those who are different. God wants us to be good stewards of this planet, and that means not wasting or violating its resources. Most of all, it means not blowing it up. Especially not in God’s name.

Ellen Hopkins

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