As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.

Eoin Colfer


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Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.

"Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.

Eoin Colfer

Tags: artemis-fowl eoin-colfer atlantis-complex orion-fowl



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There are always a few bored audience members at an opera, especially by the time act four comes along. Those particular eyes would be wandering around the hall, searching for something, anything, interesting to watch. Those eyes would land on the little demon downstage right, unless they were distracted.
Right on cue, a large stage lamp broke free of its clamp in the rigging and swung on its cable into the back canvas. [...]
On his way though the lobby minutes later, Artemis was highly amuse to overhear several audience members gushing over the unorthodox direction of the opera's final scene. The exploding lamp, muse one buff, was doubtless a metaphor for Norma's own falling star. But no, argued a second. The lamp was obviously a modernistic interpretation of the burning stake that Norma was about to face.
Or perhaps, thought Artemis as he pushed through the crowd to find a light Sicilian mist falling on his forehead, the exploding lamp was simply an exploding lamp.

Eoin Colfer


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Ah, yes, the trusty time paradox. If I go back in time and kill my grandfather, then shall I cease to exist? I believe, as Gorben and Berndt did, that any repercussions are already being felt. We can only change the future, not the past or present. If I go back, then I have already been back.
- Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer


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to be injured on this tundra would lead to a quick and painful death—or at the very least abject humiliation before the popping flashes of the tourist season's tail end, which was slightly less painful than a painful death, but lasted longer.

Eoin Colfer


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A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl

Eoin Colfer


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Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your way back. Then I can make a few pennies wth my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby."
This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away.

Eoin Colfer


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Orion:"Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn 'round so that I may smite it."
Foaly: "Smite it with what? Your secret birthmark?"
Orion: "Don't you mock my birthmark, which I may or may not have.

Eoin Colfer


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Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.

Eoin Colfer


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Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.

Eoin Colfer


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