One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George CarlinDid you ever eat a whole box of cookies right in a row? Did you ever do that? I don't mean take them into your bedroom or something. I mean open them right up in the kitchen as soon as you get home from the store and eat 'em while you're standing there? Just stare at the toaster while you're eatin' a whole goddamn box of cookies?
George CarlinHere’s another question I have. How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?
Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness. Name 6 ways we’re better than chickens.
See, nobody can do it! You know why? ‘Cause chickens are decent people.
You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No, you don’t see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When’s the last chicken you heard about come home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn’t happen, ’cause chickens are decent people.
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom
George CarlinGriddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?
George CarlinAll music is the blues. All of it.
George CarlinI'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
George CarlinI don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
George CarlinThe things they don't tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice; you have owners. They own you. They own everything.
George CarlinDon’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach them to question everything.
Tags: children-s-books children-s-literature
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