Any place I hang my head is home.

Groucho Marx

Tags: groucho mustasches



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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Groucho Marx

Tags: intelligence government



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I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.

Groucho Marx

Tags: lolita nabakov groucho-marx



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Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx


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While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Groucho Marx

Tags: money



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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor superstition



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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

Tags: funny



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I must admit, I was born at an early age.

Groucho Marx


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The only real laughter comes from despair.

Groucho Marx

Tags: laughter despair marx groucho



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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor



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