The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.
H.L. MenckenTags: christianity religion communism
I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved, which a cow enjoys on giving milk.
H.L. MenckenIt is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.
H.L. MenckenYou can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
H.L. MenckenTags: life inspirational
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
H.L. MenckenTo fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence... Nothing could be further from the truth. The aim... is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States... and that is its aim everywhere else.
(writing of public education in the April 1924 The American Mercury)
Tags: public-education
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H.L. MenckenTags: funny
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
H.L. MenckenAmerican journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.
H.L. MenckenTags: media journalism american-culture
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
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