Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?"

"You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: humor



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You're not going to die?"
"Not right this minute." And of course, saying something like that usually resulted in immediate dying. I braced myself for a stray meteorite falling through the roof to crush my skull.

Ilona Andrews


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Need some help, Ass Kicker?

Ilona Andrews


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I think I've been rather reasonable about this whole situation."
"How do you figure?"
"They are still breathing, aren't they?

Ilona Andrews


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I'm a substitute mom."
"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.

Ilona Andrews


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I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack.

Ilona Andrews


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If I lose control, you'll be the first to know."
"I'm quite perturbed by the idea.

Ilona Andrews


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A ghastly attempt at a smile, sure to send any normal person to a therapist.

Ilona Andrews


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Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy.

Ilona Andrews


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I want to punish them. I want that punishment to be so hard, so vicious that the next who takes their place wets himself at the mere thought of trying to fight me.

Ilona Andrews


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