I could use some help with an FTA.
What's your problem?
He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
Janet EvanovichTags: humor
I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all the confusion, what with being locked up in a refrigerator, I plumb forgot what was in here to start with. But being that this is a 45 magnum, the most powerful handgun in existence, and it could blow your head clean off, you just got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky today? Well, do you, punk?"
Christ," Spiro whispered. "She thinks she's f**king Clint Eastwood.
Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.
Janet EvanovichTags: penance
When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
Janet EvanovichTags: humor stephanie-plum
...Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff?" - Aunt Edna
Janet EvanovichTags: funny
If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
Janet EvanovichTags: humor
Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob."
"Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him," I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. "I'm fine," I said to Lula. "Maybe I'll sleep here tonight.
Tags: humor
Bitch, this is a gun...
Janet EvanovichTags: stephanie-plum lula explosive-eighteen
He's a good man," Ranger said.
"And you?"
"I'm better.
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