I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay.

Janet Evanovich


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Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both."-

Janet Evanovich


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The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.

Janet Evanovich


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You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

Janet Evanovich

Tags: romantic metaphor



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I can't squeeze to keep the breezers in.

Janet Evanovich


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Ranger was grinning. "Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot."
"That would be me."I said.
"Babe,"Ranger said, the grin widening.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: ranger stephanie-plum janet-evanovich



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Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli.
"I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure."
-Morelli And Stephanie

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor funny stephanie-plum morelli



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Your on your on with this one babe."
"Coward."
"Calling me names isn't going to get me in there."
-Ranger and Stephanie

Janet Evanovich

Tags: funny ranger stephanie-plum



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Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor funny stephanie-plum granmda-mazur



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Fuck," Ranger said.
Ranger didn't often curse and he rarely raised his voice. The fuck has been entirely conversational. Like he was now midly inconvenienced. He put his Bates boot to the door and the door popped open..

Janet Evanovich

Tags: funny ranger



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