If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
-Gwen Goodnight

Jennifer Crusie


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Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel...used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too.

Jennifer Crusie

Tags: humor heartache



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Say, ‘Thank you, Phin.’ ”
“Oh, please.”
“Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. ”
“I don’t think so.”
“Say, ‘You are a great lover, Phin.’ ”
“I’m out of here.

Jennifer Crusie

Tags: humour funny



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I like my afterglow with you in motion. I measure time by how your body sways.

Jennifer Crusie


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Values aren't buses... They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are.

Jennifer Crusie

Tags: values



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You have to open up to the world and learn optimism...Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.

Jennifer Crusie

Tags: optimism contentment positive-thinking



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Trying to seduce Alec at all was a waste of time; he came preseduced anyway. Like a microwave entrée. You pressed his buttons, and he got hot.

Jennifer Crusie


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Zach had brought her a dog.

Jennifer Crusie


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I'm Min's fairy godmother, Charm Boy,' Liza said, frowning down at him. 'And if you don't give her a happily ever after, I'm going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.'

What happened to "bibbity bobbity boo"?' Cal asked Min.

That was Disney, honey,' Min said. 'It wasn't a documentary.

Jennifer Crusie


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He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him.

What?' Ronald said.

I didn't say anything.'

You're breathing heavy.

Jennifer Crusie

Tags: humor crime faking_it



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