Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.

Jeremy Clarkson


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Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'?

Jeremy Clarkson


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Lego, however, is always opened and then left lying around so adults have something to tread on when they are prowling around around the house at two in the morning, in bare feet, looking for the source of a noise.

Jeremy Clarkson

Tags: humour lego



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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight...

Jeremy Clarkson

Tags: census jedi-knight



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In the olden days it was easy to make a television work.You plugged an aerial cable into the back, then bashed the top with your fist until, eventually, Hughie Green stopped jumping up and down.

Jeremy Clarkson

Tags: tv olden-days aerial hughie-green



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