It’s pretty hard not to like her,” he says. “Even when
you know you shouldn’t.
I told you why. If I don’t do it now, I never will. I’ll just be some office drone ten years from
now, wishing I had done something interesting at least once in my life.
I don’t think I’m special. I want you to know that,” Odile says sharply. “I don’t think I’m better than everybody else.
Joe MenoHe wants to say: First of
all, you were wrong about pop music. And art and all of pop culture. And all kinds of things.
Because all of it matters. Even if it is awful. Everybody knows all the bad movies and the bad
songs on the radio. Because it’s the only thing anybody has in common anymore. It’s all anybody
has. So you were wrong about that and you were wrong about us and you were wrong about me,
but he doesn’t actually say any of this out loud.
The more you like a girl, the less she likes you. It’s like fucking scientific.”
“What about you and Kim?”
“That’s what I’m talking about, little dude. If I start being nice and acting cool and saying things
and being on time, she starts acting, you know, fucking uninterested. But if I act like a total dick, then
she calls me all the fucking time. It’s fucking crazy, because I really like her and all, but when I say
nice shit to her, she gets all freaked out and says she needs some fucking space and all. So I just act
like I don’t give a shit, you know? It’s all part of God’s plan,” he said, nodding.
wondered about what he said and then thought hard. I could
never be a dick, not to Gretchen anyway, so I guess I was doomed; doomed to go for this girl that
didn’t go for me. But that was OK as I long as I did everything I could.
I was a shy kid and I was afraid what i said sounded stupid, so I hardly ever saud anything. I was the third wheel. Fifth wheel? I was the fucking wheel you didn't really need, but I still hung around. I thought maybe my silence would one day impress somebody. As of yet, it hadn't done much for me.
Joe MenoMaybe it was better to just go on believing everything was OK, even when
really bad things were just about to happen.
Just because you have blue hair and fucked-up clothes doesn’t mean you’re better than everyone
else. Because you know what? You’re just conforming to someone else’s code. Even though you don’t
wear khakis or sweaters or whatever, but to me all you guys look the same. You think you’re so
individualistic, but you’re not. You guys—you and Kim and all the rest—you’re like anti-snob snobs.
But you’re just as mean as the preppy kids. You’re all just as fucking lame.
The world of evil is only as evil as we allow it to be.
Joe Meno« first previous
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