It's not about fear. It's about never feeling clean, spending years scrubbing your soul raw so you can eat without feeling nauseous, can look in the mirror and meet your own eyes when you put on makeup, brush your hair. To learn to be strong, to run your life and not be a victim of it, knowing in your heart that everything you've built is sitting on a foundation that can sink at any time. And you build it anyway, on faith alone that it won't be shattered, when everything in your life tells you that faith is a fucking joke, but you do it anyway. You do it anyway.(...)
Joey W. HillTags: tyler marguerite
It made her chest hurt, how much she felt in this moment. She knew she should not say anything impetuously. But under the light of the stained glass window, the flickering candlelight of their shared memories, it felt like simple unexamined honesty. No matter what the darkness brought back to her tomorrow.
"I'm in love with you.
Tags: tyler marguerite
Is there anything you do that isn't designed to take you a step closer to the other side?"
(...)
Do you want that for Gen and Chloe? If you're going to take yourself out, do it with flame. Burn it all away, so there's nothing left but ashes, so we can still imagine everything we valued and loved…"
He swung before she anticipated him. His fist went through her sheetrock as if it wasn't there, shattering paint and substance.(…)
"You'll promise me. And you'll never betray that promise, or I swear to God it will kill me. Do you understand that? Do you know how much you mean to me? Even if you don't want me, you have to give me this."
"I promise, I promise." She reached up, gathered him to her. He came inch by resisting inch until his face was against her neck. Suddenly he gave, dropping to his knees, his arms surrounding her so they were pressed against each other thigh to thigh, heart to heart. He pulled her in so tightly against him she couldn't breathe, but that didn't matter. Suddenly the world was about more than herself, more than about her pain and it was easier to let go of it to hold him in her arms, to give him comfort.
Tags: tyler marguerite
I don't need to be babied. I've taken care of myself for a long time."
"You need all the babying you can get, angel. And something's bothering you. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
"Go to hell." She slammed down the phone.
She tightened her chin and her resolve. "I didn't expect to see you so soon."
"I was told to go to hell. My connecting flight was delayed so I thought I'd drop in.
Tags: tyler marguerite
Sometimes, I think it's like a fable," he said. "One powerful god released all the evil things on the world. Another god, a god of light, could not undo what the other god had done, but he could give us something to make life worth living. So he gave us love."
"I'm working on it." He met her gaze. "Working on sharing with you. But I've been places where there are too many dead and I helped increase the body count. Each of those lives meant something to someone. And to the person themselves. But whatever lies beyond…You've helped me remember why it's worth fighting. Living. Even when the lines get so confusing you think you're losing your mind.
Tags: tyler marguerite
She looked up at him. "Carry me. I like it when you carry me." Her body trembled beneath him.
"Ask me."
"Please." The words came out without hesitation or thought. "Would you carry me?"
"Anything you ask for, angel."
Tags: tyler marguerite
Thomas stood in the manacles, vibrating , overwhelmed with words he couldn't say. Didn't know if he knew how to say them, because they contained all the heartbreak of the world mixed with it's ephemeral joy. Waking to the aroma of breakfast when he was eight. Feeling the heat of the setting sun on his skin while falling asleep on Kate's back at ten. Turning and seeing Marcus for the very first time. Moments too powerful to be contained by the human heart and therefore having a peculiar way of making the soul hurt, as if there was something to mourn in the midst of the happiness. As if happiness itself couldn't exist without shadows to define it...
Joey W. HillLove you...God, finally accepting it was as bad as dying.
Joey W. HillSee yourself the way I see you. Feel the way my hands touch you, think about the way I look at you. I see all of you, Thomas. You think I don't, but I do. Hide it, don't hide it, I know all of it, feel all of it. You're mine. Just let go. Let go and see it. I always have.
Joey W. HillAt least she (Thomas' mom) knows what she wants is dead. What I want just refuses to be with me. Maybe I should compare notes with her on what's worse, for I swear to God sometimes I think if you were dead this would hurt less.
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