If you had to chose one half of your son, which one would it be?"
What kind of a question is that?!"
No need to snap. It was just a question.

Johnny Depp


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That pipe, just so happens to lead to the room where I make the most delicious flavored chocolate covered fudge."
Then he will be made into strawberry flavoered chocolate covered fudge, they'll be selling him by the pound, all over the world!"
No, I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Can you imagine Augustus flavored chocolate covered gloop? Ew. No one would buy it.

Johnny Depp


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I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory."
Were you one of those despicable spies who every day tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those paraseeded cop cat, candy making cads?"
No sir!"
Then wonderful, welcome back!

Johnny Depp


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A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

Johnny Depp

Tags: humor



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I suppose nowadays it's all a question of surgery, isn't it? Of course the notion is beautiful, the idea of staying a boy and a child forever, and I think you can. I have known plenty of people who, in their later years, had the energy of children and the kind of curiosity and fascination with things like little children. I think we can keep that, and I think it's important to keep that part of staying young. But I also think it's great fun growing old.

Johnny Depp


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One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was from my mom. When I was a little kid there was a kid who was bugging me at school and she said “Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock...

Johnny Depp

Tags: advice funny mom johnny-depp bullies



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You gotta be careful: don't say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Johnny Depp

Tags: silence funny talking careful



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I always felt like I was meant to have been born in another era, another time.

Johnny Depp

Tags: time interview quote born vanity-fair era magazine-interview



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She's kind of a walking poem, she's this perfect beauty...but at the same time very deep, very smart.

Johnny Depp

Tags: woman beauty poem smart perfect deep the-tourist angelina-jolie



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Growing old is unavoidable, but never growing up is possible. I believe you can retain certain things from your childhood if you protect them - certain traits, certain places where you don’t let the world go.

Johnny Depp

Tags: inspirational-attitude



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