I hid my underwear beneath a parked Peugeot.

Jonathan Ames

Tags: underwear peugeot



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Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm, and yet I continue to do everything I shouldn't do.

Jonathan Ames


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For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone.

Jonathan Ames


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Try to think about more important things,' he said. 'Think about your soul, your character. Think about the freezer. It's a solid block of ice. It needs defrosting. There might a steak in there. Concentrate on things like that. There could be a meal in it.

Jonathan Ames

Tags: humor



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I was aware that I was acting atrociously but I couldn't stop myself. Rarely had I behaved in such a manner. But I guess when we're feeling lonely in life, we attack those who actually do love us. It's one of the things that characterizes human nature and can be summed up in one word: FLAWED.

Jonathan Ames


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Oh, God, I don't know what's more difficult, life or the English language.

Jonathan Ames

Tags: humor english



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I'm on the verge of a total breakdown. Sciatica. Taxes. Cars. Fleas, possibly. It's an absurd existence.

Jonathan Ames

Tags: breakdown



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