I closed my eyes. The only things I knew about why Empty Ones worked the way we did was that we had room for extra souls because we started out with less, and that we could make gates because of our innately human sense of home. But my home was here. How on earth was I supposed to find another one?
“The gate needs to be opened and closed before dawn,” Cresseda said, a hint of strain flowing through her voice.
“YES. THANKS FOR THAT. VERY HELPFUL RIGHT NOW.
I shook my, smiling. A few last faeries were going through when I realized that Reth was still standing nearby, his frame visibly shaking.
I gestured to the gate, but he stood there, frowning at me, then motioned me to him. Disentangling myself from Lend, I walked over, having to pull my hair out of my mouth three times.
“You should go!” I shouted. “You’re the only one left and you look terrible and it’s almost dawn!”
“I want to go through with you. I want to be there when you become what you should be.”
“Reth.” I shook my head. “I’m not going through!”
His eyebrows rose in confusion. “You’re not going through.”
“No! I’m not going through!”
“Of course you are going through. This is what everything has been about, escaping this wretched planet. Together.”
“You can go!”
He reached out and cupped the side of my face with his palm that, once again, felt warm to my now extra-soul-free body. Feverish, actually, and I could feel his pulse racing through it. “You are the only thing I have ever cared for besides myself. I cannot leave you here.
She leaned in and hugged me. “I know. Thanks. I love you, too. And for the record, Cheyenne and Landon are soul mates and if they don’t end up together, I want you to find a poltergeist to haunt the Easton Heights writers.”
She pulled back, smiling at me, then reaching out to ruffle Lend’s hair. “Take care of each other, you two obnoxious kids.”
Then, throwing her shoulders back and staring straight forward, she walked through the gate. I watched, dreading seeing her turn into dust or something, but gasped in relief and joy as her ruined, unnaturally preserved body blossomed into something new, something strong and proud and undeniably alive.
She turned back, just once, and although she was nearly unrecognizable, I could see our Arianna in her smile that managed to maintain its trademark ironic twist.
“I’m going to miss her,” I said.
“What?” Lend shouted.
“I said, I’m going to miss her!”
“I can’t hear you! I’m going to miss her!
Reth narrowed his eyes and looked from me to the gate and back again.
“Don’t even think about it,” I said, suddenly scared. “If you so much as take a step to drag me through, I will drain your soul and send it through the gate in the stars you’re so scared of. And you know you can’t fight me right now.”
His lips jutted out petulantly, then he sighed. “I really will miss you, my love. If nothing else you were always entertaining.”
I smiled. “I think I might miss you, too. So few things left in this world to terrorize me and look pretty while doing it. Now get out of here and enjoy your eternity.” He glanced calculatingly at the gate once again, and I raised my hand in warning. “I can drain faster than you can run.”
He looked torn, then leaned forward and pressed his smooth lips against mine in a whisper of a kiss. I staggered back, putting my fingers to my lips and still feeling his heat there.
“Perhaps if I had done that earlier you would be coming with me now.” He smiled at me, that enigmatic faerie smile that I realized with a pang I really would miss, then turned and walked, stooped and unsteady, through the gate.
“Good-bye, Reth,” I whispered, letting the wind carry my words through the gate and wondering if he heard them on the other side. Something tight around my heart released as he grew taller and brighter, healed, his features smoothing until they were so much less human than they had ever been. He turned his head ever so briefly in my direction, smiled, and then ran on dancing feet to join the rest of his brothers and sisters.
Lend leaned forward and smashed his lips against my forehead, and I closed my eyes, letting myself rest against him. We’d fought so hard to stay here together, and now we’d have to give it up.
It sucked. It gave new meaning to the word suck, really. They’d have to change the definition after this ultimate suck to beat all suck.
I nodded and nodded and nodded again, like the motion could buoy me up for what had to be done. “Okay. We’ll be okay. I’ll go through and use . . . use my own soul to close the agte.”
“You can’t!” Lend said.
I shrugged, putting on a brave smile. “I’ll be okay. They can probably fix me. I mean, Reth was able to put soul into me on this side. He should be able to do it on the other side, right?”
I looked from Vivian to Lend for reassurance, but neither of them had any to give. I needed them to be brave for me, to tell me it was going to work out. I’d come so far to get this bright, happy soul of my own, to figure out who I was and how to love and let myself be loved. I didn’t want to give it up, and I needed to know it would be okay.
“Lie to me!” I shouted. “Tell me it’s going to be okay!”
Lend shook his head. “There’s no way I’m letting you use your own soul to close the gate.” He stood straighter. “Use mine.”
“What?”
“Take mine! I have more than you do anyway, right? It only makes sense.”
“But who knows what that would do to you on the other side! You would be mortal! We’d have no idea how long you’d live, how it would change you.”
He smiled bravely, shrugging. “I never asked to last forever. I’m not interested in immortality; you are the life I chose.”
“Oh, will you two shut up?” Vivian stomped over to us, her white-blond hair whipped up into a bizarre halo around her head and her cotton gown barely staying on. “’Let me sacrifice myself!’ ‘No, let me sacrifice myself!’ ‘I love you more than the eternities!’ ‘No, I love you more than the eternities!’” She was pale, her huge, manic eyes wide. Maybe having and then losing the Dark Queen’s soul really had tipped her over the edge. “This one’s all me.
In the interest of not pissing you off anymore tonight, let's not select that particular playlist.
Kiersten WhiteAm I scared of the horrible things I know will happen to my kid to hurt him? Absolutely. But would I stop those things at the risk of taking away joy and growth and the absolute embracing of life? Never. Because I love this child for being mine,but I also love him for the being he will be, and I can't tell you how excited I am to watch him discover that for himself.
Kiersten WhiteOpening night is in a week. Already announced to the papers, already sent out in the newsletter in fancy, glossy, full-color glory. Which means I have two days, max, to finish the framing—easily a week’s worth of work—and then four days for drilling the star maps I’ve already marked on the plywood, painting, wiring, installing, and finessing.Leaving me only one day—the day of the evening gala—to clean and get the actual exhibits set up.
It’s impossible.
I will make it happen or die trying.
I don’t realize I’ve said that last part aloud until I notice Michelle’s horrified face.
Tags: michelle interior-design isadora
It ranks right up there with lockers. In fact, sometimes I put my license in my locker, and it's so cool I worry that the whole thing might explode with the sheer coolness of it all.
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