I can draw you a diagram. Hint: I'm slot B, and you're tab A.
Kresley ColeTags: sex innuendo regin declan-chase
Illusion is Reality's coy lover who cheers him when he is grim. Illusion is cunning to his wisdom of ages, weet oblivion to his knowledge. A bounty to his lack. [Sabine]
Kresley ColeCan’t hear… call back… good luck…”
“Nïx, I know you’re faking the static.” She could picture her sister blowing into her fist directly at the receiver. The static abruptly stopped.
“Why?”
“It seemed less rude than the alternative.”
“What’s that?”
Click.
Tags: immortals-after-dark pleasure-of-a-dark-prince
Your time's running out, Valkyrie." Fegley gave another wallop before he squeaked off.
Regin narrowed her eyes, watching him till he was out of sight. "One day I'm going to make that little piggy cry all the way home.
When the warden appeared outside their cell, he ogled Regin's bared midriff. Gross. Whenever men leered at her, Regin tended to leer back. She canted her head on the floor, turning it one way, then the other. "I finally understand what a dickie-do is. Your gut does stick out more than your dickie do.
Kresley ColeTags: immortals-after-dark valkyrie berserker regin-the-radiant
Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me.”
Natalya hissed, “Are you mad?”
“What’s she gonna do? Vivisect me? Imprison me? We’ve got a pact to fulfill,remember?”
To Dorada, she cried, “Seriously, sweetheart, shake that mummified ass over here.”
Regin kicked the glass. “Lemme the fuck out—”
La Dorada swung her head around,peering at Regin with her one eye.
“Okay. That’s freaky. Lookit, Gollum, if you spring me, I’ll help you find your Precious.
Tags: humor funny gollum dreams-of-a-dark-warrior kresley-cole regin
When his thumb hovered over the red button, she stared at him aghast. “You’re truly going to … torture me?”
He cast her a puzzled look. “Why wouldn’t I torture you?”
Because you used to love me, used to cherish me. “I thought we had a moment yesterday? Didn’t you like seeing me in lingerie?”
In a monotone voice, he said, “Why did the charge throwers have no ill effect on you?”
He’s truly going to do it? Then fuck him. DEFCON. “Chase, I’ve tussled with vibrators stronger than your charge throwers.”
No reaction. “You consumed energy. And channeled it at will. How?”
All Valkyrie consumed it—they were each connected through a grid of mystical energy—but Regin was the only one she knew of who could radiate it through her body. She’d inherited the talent from her birth mother. “So how does one get started as a magister? College or trade school?”
“I don’t have the time or patience for games. Now, tell me, why do you … glow?”
“I touched a radioactive alien cock once.”
He pressed the button.
When they passed the centaur king’s cell, Volós pointed at Regin and slid his forefinger across his throat.
She replied, “Hey, didn’t I see you in a donkey show down in Tijuana? No? You’ve got a twin then—
Look it Gollum, if you spring me, I’ll help you find your Precious.--Regin
Kresley ColeNix to Declan:
Begin transcript—
Testing. Hello, hellooo, anybody out there? Check, check, one, two. Soft pee. Puh, puh. Resonance! Sooooooft pee. Alpha bravo disco tango duck.
This is Nïx! I’m the Ever-Knowing One, a goddess incandescent, incomparable, and irresistible. But enough about what you think of me. It’s a beautiful day in New Orleans. The wind is out of the east at a steady five knots and clouds look like rabbits … But enough about what you think of me!
Now, down to business—
Squirrel!
Where was I? [Long pause] Why am I in Regin’s car? Bertil, you crawl right back out of that bong this minute!
Oh, I remember! I am hereby laying down this track for Magister Declan Chase. If you are a mortal of the recorder peon class, know that Dekko and I go waaaaay back, and he’ll go berserk (snicker snicker) if he doesn’t receive this transmittal. …
Chase, riddle me this: what’s beautiful but monstrous, long of tooth but sharp of tooth and soft of mind, and can never ever tell a lie?
That’s right. The Enemy of Old can be very useful to you. So use him already.
P.S. Your middle name’s about to be spelled r-e-g-r-e-t.
And with that, I must bid you adieu. Don’t worry, we’ll catch up very soon. …
[Muffled] Who’s mummy’s wittle echolocator? That’s right—you are!
—End transcript
Tags: humor
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